I am the center of the universe
It’s not easy being the most important person in the world. In my absence, hope dissolves, words are rendered useless, and basic bodily functions can not be controlled.
On Saturday I left Ryan in Stu’s capable hands for the day so I could chat with musicians and recording industry professionals at Kindiefest. I did this to help book gigs for a friend of mine who is a terrific children’s musician – please check out Music by Zev – listen to his albums, book him for parties in the greater New York area, share the love.
Aaaanyway, I left my boys alone for the day. When I returned, I found Stu clutching his phone, about to break down and call me to see when the hell I was coming home already. He declared the day had been “an unmitigated disaster.” All day, Ryan staged an elaborate protest to express his displeasure at my truancy; it involved a flat refusal to use any sort of interactive language, intense irritability, and a boycott of the bathroom.
As soon as Ryan was tucked in bed, Stu took himself out to dinner and left me home alone. I couldn’t blame him.
Sunday, in my presence, Ryan was pretty much back to normal. His nerves were perhaps a little raw, but otherwise he was as fit for human company as he usually is.
Being the center of the universe is an awesome responsibility – one I do not take lightly. I shall try to use my powers for good and not for evil.
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