New Rule in Town

You’ll excuse me if I continue to melt down while I type, won’t you? 4+ hours and I’m beyond exhausted. Have been up since 5AM, spent half the day waiting (either for the doctor or for my ride) and, sorry to report but you agreed when coming here that you’d get the truth, spent the rest of the day running to the bathroom… because, in the process of going GFCF, things are getting worse rather than better.

Anyway, I learned a few things from the neurologist today:
1. I CAN speak just fine.
2. It’s a conversion disorder (“purely psychological,” as she put it)
3. Not related to autism, because I don’t have autism.

I don’t care if they call it conversion, trauma, aphasia, green or purple… I want it to go away. I don’t care how they treat. I don’t care.

That said, I’m trying something new. You see, I type a LOT. I text I email, I Twitter, and Facebook, and blog, and chat room, and forums, oh and my iPod… I type. Typing is my way of connecting with the world, even more so now that I don’t talk much.

So I’m going to take a typing break. Maybe if I type less, I’ll be forced to speak more. Maybe I’ll get so tired of my own head that I’ll figure out how to speak again. After all, everyone (psychiatrist, neurologist, therapist, even Mom) say that it’s all in my head… I guess we’ll see.

Now; back to my meltdown.

Lydia

Autistic Speaks

I'm 23. I love Jesus, my service cat, and my mom. I have usually-high-functioning autism, though it depends on the day. I'm trying to figure out how I can live the life I've dreamed of with autism in it.