A follow-up post to: Spare your Child
Let me just clear something up a bit before I get another round of 42 semi-hostile or the exact opposite of hostile comments. Asperger’s is completely different from my brother’s form of Autism. I have a cousin with Asperger’s. He is an awesome guy. He just does anti-social things like hiding in his room playing video games when he’s home from overseas. Stuff like that. I am not saying there is anything wrong with weird people. And if people want to hit me with the whole what do you classify as weird. Go ahead. By weird I mean anti-social. I don’t use words like that around people my age, because I sound like an Oprah Winfrey.
What I’m saying about the whole Asperger’s loser thing is that I would rather not even know about Asperger’s and be completely innocent. I’m not saying I would make fun of my cousin or anything, but I would much rather just think “Ok that kid’s a little strange.” And go about my day, instead of getting pissed at other people for snickering at the kid.
The point of the post was that from a very young age I lost my innocence. I never really had a childhood. Yes, I do resent my brother for that. Who wouldn’t? Nobody can honestly say they wouldn’t. My brother can’t help that he’s Autistic, but all the same, If he had Strep Throat and he drank my water when I wasn’t watching and I caught it, I’d be a little pissed.
For people who think that metaphor is stupid. It’s not. Think about it. His autism does somewhat rub off on me. I do love my brother, but still, I do have very conflicting emotions. My brother is very handsome, and it is just so unfortunate that he will never be married. There is just no way, He can’t understand. The whole thing about Facebook meant that we can’t really be friends at all. He’s my brother, and I’m more like Mama number 2.
And you know why this blog sounds extremely selfish; my family made it that way. It really is all about me. It has to be, and I don’t want it to be. I have to be perfect. When I’m not perfect, my parents tell me I didn’t try hard enough and I just sit upstairs and watch Chelsea Lately.
I have a good life, but a very confusing one. I have some problems of my own, but I believe my brother’s autism disorder has contributed to them. It’s a hard life with my knucklehead of a little brother, but you know you take what you’re given. I was given to him.
My earlier post was a very blunt and honest opinion expressing how many of we siblings feel. And again not to sugarcoat anything, the divorce rate/ teen suicide rate of relatives to children with disabilities is triple the amount of a typical American household.
I was simply saying, think before you put your children in that position. And if you already have kids they may not be as happy as you think. My mom didn’t know I was resentful towards my brother until the 9th grade. I understand Divorce/teen suicide doesn’t happen to everyone, but it does happen to some people. I’ve seen it.
My brother is the only thing holding my parents together and for the darkest period of my early teens keeping me alive. Just something to think about from the perspective of someone who is still living the life at the moment. I didn’t mean to be offensive, I just don’t believe it is wise to have a child after you have an autistic one. Whether it is the oldest or the twelve one. I personally think it should be the last.