You Might Be An Aspie If…

I am transferring this from my wordpress blog at aspienado.wordpress.com, originally posted there on 4-8-15.

I was looking for something else and ran right into this. The original site is gone now, so I’m glad I had it saved on my own blog. This is what inspired my own list You may be an aspie if…

From a private blog on

January 10, 2008

I had this on an old blog last year that doesn’t exist any more, and as per my fearful anxiety that my favorite websites tend to suddenly disappear on me, here are my faves from the list at You Might be an Aspie If…  I tried to fix up the typos and spacing in the paste over, apparently being more obsessed with that than the aspie who made that site, but realized I was spending another hour obsessing and just let it go.

“If you are told to show up for a meeting in appropriate attire and you show up wearing a 6-year old sweatshirt turned inside-out and well-washed overalls and sandals, and you didn’t remember to wash your hair or put on deodorant because you were up late reading about Egyptian hieroglyphics and you barely had time to get to the meeting….you might be an Aspie”

“If it takes you 5 minutes to explain where the mayonnaise is in the refrigerator…..you might be an Aspie”

“If you would rather eat broken glass than go to a sorority party….you might be an Aspie”

…when someone says, “Now take a minute and picture -in your head- something or other”, you wonder why it would be necessary to suggest it, because you always have pictures in your head.

…when you get old you know you will be “an old lady with cats” (or dogs, or ferrets, or lizards.)  :insert:  I will be an old lady with chickens…

…you want to sky-dive or bungee jump, but you wouldn’t do it if you had to drive through traffic to get there.

…you automatically mirror other people’s voices and even their whole persona, so that you are not sure who you would be today if you had different people around you.

…you have passed many a happy minute watching a fan spin.

…you write about one topic like fans, and that makes you think about the time you were in a department store when you were a kid and the display selling fans had one of them blowing air upwards and there was a beach ball bouncing up and down on the air from the fan, and that reminds you of…and then you realize that your worst writing flaw is the run-on sentence.

…on the one hand you think you are the most interesting person you know, but not too many other people are trying to get to know you.

…you have learned to say “why” in several different languages.

…your boss says, “Do such and such”, and you can’t do it until you know “why”, because you are not going to waste your time on doing something that doesn’t make sense.

…people sometimes check you out to see if you really do, “know everything”.

…you know the historical derivation of the word, “trivia”.

…if you have made yourself late for an appointment because you were rushing to get ready but you really had to stop and vacuum the lint off the carpet (10 extra points if you really aren’t that tidy of a person)

…if you refused to let your grown son get rid of his legos, because you wanted to have the option of playing with them yourself again.

…you get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don’t know something when you need to know it because you really *SHOULD* know that.

…you choose the grocery aisle that you go down based on whether or not there are any other people in that aisle.

…you will go many extra steps and take lots of extra time to figure out the answer to something rather than taking 30 seconds to ask someone. (10 extra points if your heart pounds if you finally do decide to ask an actual person, 25 extra points if you can hear your heart pounding)

…one of your instinctive reactions is, “I didn’t do anything wrong!”.

…if you have ever looked at your feet and thought that they looked like they were about 25 feet away from your head.

…if you thought when you were 8 years old that you had no chance at being Miss America because you had so many scars on your knees and legs. (I’m thinking this is a girl thing…)

…you knew years ahead of time that you weren’t going to the senior prom.

…by the time the prom came, they couldn’t have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom.

…you know exactly who Temple Grandin is (and Donna Williams and Tony Attwood and Michelle Dawson)

…the word “Hallmark” makes you think “When you care enough to send the very best”, and you can remember tons of those kinds of “ad” lines and you use them in everyday speech.

…if you recognize yourself in the “you might be an Aspie” jokes and you don’t know if you should laugh or cry.

…you are middle aged and going to college and petrified by the question “what is your major” because you don’t know if it should be, English, Russian, Art, Art History, Psychology or whatever your next interest will be, OR if you should pursue your own personalized major program in Eremitic Studies or Anti-Social Science.

… you are walking down the sidewalk in a boutique area of town and suddenly choke on your own spit and start coughing to be able to breathe and nearly have an accident in the coughing fit ‘cuz your an old aspie and the coughing is intense. And you realize how it is that even if you could wear the boutique jewelry and clothes you still couldn’t pull off “classy”.

…if the thought, “there has to be a pattern to this” is a major theme of your life.

…if you ever stayed with a hobby so long and with such intensity that you hurt yourself. (can you say “carpal tunnel syndrome”?)

…if you ever wished that you were Sherlock Holmes. (10 extra points if you are female)

…if you were a trekky long before there were such things (when the show started in 1970?, I don’t remember numbers.) (10 extra points if you are a female)

…if the word “logic” goes right to your heart but the word “love” usually bounces off of it.

…if you been driving a car with someone in the passenger seat who’s voice was too quiet and you reached for the volume control on the radio to turn up the the sound of their voice. (OK, that’s just strange….but true)

…if you talk back to the people on the TV and radio and call them idiots or say sarcastic things to commercials.

…if you absolutely hate news reporters who go up to the grieving widow and say, “Are you sad?, tell us exactly how sad are you?”. I want the widow to say, “Of course I’m sad you idiot, see the tears? My husband was just shot, fool!” They’re just a bunch of vampires, the news media. (rant)

…if it takes you 3 times as long to decide if it’s safe drive through an intersection as it does a normal person.

…if people behind you at intersections thoroughly hate you.

…if people told you you drive like a granny when you were 23 years old.

…if you thoroughly humiliated your teenage children by speaking Chinese to strangers when they (your kids) were with you (they were Chinese strangers, but still…)

…if you say, to your adult autistic child, in a stressed moment,”I hate my life”, and he/she answers, “I know, you complain all the time.”

…if you think cataclysm is a really great word. Catamaran, catatonic, catalyst, Catalan, catalogue, catastrophe all great words, and they start with CAT, which is neat, too. Patagonia is a neat word, too. And sassafras.

…if you are a 43 year old woman and you just can’t make hair-spray work for you.

…if you had eyeliner tatooted on because you never think about make-up or have time to put it on, and besides you thought it would be a really neat and weird experience to have your eyelids tattooed, besides that, it was an acquaintance doing the tattooing and she was just starting out and needed guinea pigs to practice on.

…you find the representations of the ark as a boat, with a keel and all, very irritating, when the Bible clearly describes the ark as a big rectangular box.

…if you think an old fashioned egg beater is a very cool toy.

…you are trying to think of how to use the phrase:
“horror vacuii”, because it’s a real cool concept (and it comes from one of your special interests) and sort of describes the way you organize your living area…

…if you wanted to minimize the psychic damage done to oneself by contact with other humans and try to plan a walking route that involves the least amount of human contact, which, on a map, looks rather chaotic, especially if one notes where you pause behind a bush or building corner, waiting for someone to pass on the sidewalk.

…you go to see a psychologist a bit worried that he might tell you that you are imagining that you are on the autism spectrum, and the visit goes well, especially when you catch yourself watching the ceiling fan blades lazily spinning….then you go look in the fancy shops nearby and about an hour of this window shopping, etc., you realize that you have had your sweater on inside out since you left home…
and then you can’t wait to tell the psychologist that you did that because it’s funny and so typically Aspie.

–you make sure to describe the whole sweater on inside-out incident on your blog.

–one of your favorite hobbies is “autie spotting”.

—another one is dog watching…not unlike bird watching…you keep track of all the breeds you have seen in real life, like: “Guess what? I saw a Keeshond today!!”

…if you cook home cooked dog food for your dog, which recipe is based on the latest in dog nutrition, but you frequently have coffee and pie for breakfast and go days without eating a proper meal with vegetables.

You think the sound of competetetetetivenessnessness, is more satisfying than the regular way of saying it.

You get irritated when people come up to talk to you when you are doing something important like; staring at a wall, trying to find a space in your mind that is not overwhelmed by noise and imposing people with their desire to converse.

Never mind when people come by unannounced when you are totally getting into some research topic or painting or doing mosaics or whatever…..Hi! How nice to see you! Now go home! I’m busy!!!

You might be an Aspie if you have been, or are, married to one.

…you don’t think an aspie board would be very authentic without some argumentative pontificating, I defend argumentative pontificating because I myself am prone to such. Although, I am only trying to be factual and helpful.

…you always liked the phrase “deja vu” and have experienced it, of course, but you were really happy when you learned about, “jamais vu”, because it’s always nice to know that the psychologists have picked pretty sounding French words to describe your problems.

After thinking about “jamais vu”, you think about, “rien vu”, and wonder if you just invented a new phrase…..

Je jamais vu rien, je deja vu rien jamais.

And you think that “jamais vu” might be what happens when you see your neighbor outside in his or her pajamas.  And then you think, “wow, I sure am funny.” I am. Funny.

…your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner.

…you have more than once gone out into public with socks that don’t match. (I don’t know if that one has been added to the list already…)

…you are extremely grateful for online tax preparation because: a)no one has to try to decipher your handwriting, b)you don’t have to see or talk to anyone to file your taxes, not even the people at the post office…

…you feel somehow privileged to have insights into the subject of cultural anthropology because you have been studying anthropo’s your whole life trying to figure out what makes their culture tick.
(it’s Temple Grandin who compared herself an “anthropologist on Mars”)

…you have a t-shirt with the word Aspie on it.

…you don’t get what’s so bad about pocket protectors.

…you tell people you have a “neurodevelopmental disorder” and you kind of hope that they don’t ask what that means.

…you think “Cure Autism Now” ought to be called “Eliminate Autistics Now” and it makes you mad.

…you have an opinion on the “puzzle ribbon” debate.

You find it extraordinarily annoying to hear someone say the same thing multiple times, but you do that same thing yourself, that is, say things multiple times. Did I tell you that I hate hearing other people say things multiple times, but that I do the very same thing? Multiple times?

…only hours after a biology final you spend $6 on a magazine devoted to brain science, especially because it has an article on savants (including Kim Peek and autistic artist Richard Wawro) and you look forward to the deep relaxation you will feel while propped up in bed reading it.

…if your interest in scars is partly based on a past perseveration on connective tissue disorders and their apparent relationship to autism…which no researcher seems to be working on though you suggested it to one famous researcher…and suspect that if they discover that there is a strong relationship between autism and connective tissue disorders that you won’t get the credit for promoting it.

…if your explain your interest to another autistic who has self-injurious behaviors that involve cutting and sometimes burning that one’s self…and you look at his/her scars with a tiny bit of sympathy, but mostly with interest at the composition of the scar since this person’s sibling has stretchy skin like that in Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

…if you show a scar on your knee to this person that you got on the first day of first grade and have to add extraneous, really unnecessary details about the story in order to tell the main points, that this scar used to really resemble the molluscoid pseudo-tumors, which are the scars of some people with an Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

…if you are really thrilled that this person knows another Aspie who has a Marfan’s diagnosis…Marfan’s being the best known form of a genetic collagen disorder, which is in some ways similar to Ehlers-Danlos syndromes.

…when you sat down at your desk in highschool and tried to arrange things even Jerry Lewis couldn’t have done it as smoothly.

You know your aspie when you can smell the storm before it starts to rain, But you go and check the weather channel anyway just to be sure hehehe.

YOU MIGHT BE An Aspie If ……..you join a flirt chat room and see someone talking about aspergers and jump in and take over the chat explaining to everyone what it is only to realise 60 min later that half the room fled 30 min ago

…the Jehovah’s Witnesses missionaries who rang your doorbell fell over in a dead faint when you answered the door because you were so engrossed with whatever, and you like being nude in the privace of your own house and rushed to answer the door without putting on a bathrobe.

…you have to take one of your umpteen cats to the vet, but your car gets a flat tire on the way, and after you have it towed to a garage to get it replaced, you go all the way home because you can’t take up your original journey from any place but the beginning.

…you can identify every one of those umpteen cats by sight, but haven’t the slightest idea what the vet looks like.

…said umpteen cats get pissed at you because you have yet to establish a daily routine for cleaning the litter box.

…one of those umpteen cats wants you to wrestle while you’re engaged in an online real-time RPG, and you break to acommodate the cat and completely lose track of where you were in the game.

…you don’t give a hoot that your cats scratch your hands and arms to pieces while you play with them (which then bothers the heck out of all who see you), and it doesn’t occur to you to wear an oven mitt to protect yourself (been there; done that).

…you’re late for a meeting (aaarrrrgh!) because you intended to go the grocery store afterward, but misplaced the shopping list and spent five minutes handflapping while trying to remember where you put it.

…you go into a tizzy because a family member who ought to know better gives as a birthday present something you already have.

…your idea of a date is to lie under the stars with your partner of the evening and discuss which of the visible stars will become a black hole the soonest.

…you’re giving directions to your house to someone over the phone, you are interrupted and almost thrown into a panic by the sound of a passing fire engine, and have to repeat the directions from the very beginning because you cannot give them correctly otherwise.

…you dither over getting dressed because you can’t remember whether it’s a Blue day or a Brown day. You finally decide, then later, realize you’re wearing your blue outfit out of sequence (ten points extra if you freak out and discover that you’ve mixed colors in your outfit; ten extra points if you discover your shoes or sox don’t match).

…you’ve given up reading the newspaper because you know you can never get through to all the articles you want to read, and you’d rather not collect back issues till you run out of space to put them.

…you can’t give up reading the newspaper, even though you’ll never get through to to all the articles you want to read, and as a result, you’re now out of living space because you can’t bear to part with the back issues for fear of losing one deep in the pile where you know there’s an important story you never gor around to reading (ten extra points if you know which pile said important story is in, and approximately how deep in that paper is).

…you almost go into a panic when you discover that a picture or other wall-mounted item is hanging 1° off perpendicular, and you feel compelled to straighten it out, even if it’s not in your own home.

…you’re in a major quandary because a certain windup clock you have won’t tick in even time unless it hangs askew on the wall.

…you grouse after the maid has been cleaning because she didn’t put everything back where you had it, and now, you’re looking for razor and can’t find it becaue the hand-mirror is there and the razor is not where the hand-mirror used to be.

…you’ve decided a long time ago that going personally metric was a good idea, and now annoy whomever asks when you give your height in centimeters and weight in kilograms and can’t convert the numbers in your head (ten extra points if you’re American and always quote the temperature in °C).

…you not only line things up, you always line them up in a symmetrical arrangement.

The one person you ever dated made a big impression on you, but all you remember about his/her face is the two prominent moles that distinguish him/her from everybody else.

You’re friends with the church secretary, but can’t recognize her when you run into her in the store.

You take a spontaneous intermission in the middle of a hula competition because you’re getting stir-crazy, and can’t get back to your seat till the current group gets through dancing, but that doesn’t bother you because you can scratch your back against the door-jamb, and the beat of the music is good to rock to (just did that today).

…the girl you’ve been trying to impress finally catches on and gets a new hairdo with the idea of impressing you back, and you walk right by her without recognizing, and she grabs you and provokes you to ask, “WHO are YOU?”

…you’re disappointed that the latest close-approaching meteor is not, after all, going to hit Earth because you’ve been fascinated by cataclysms and catastrophism ever since you first saw “When Worlds Collide” and it scared the bejeebers out of you, and you really want to see what a real cataclysm would be like.

…your new obsession with ballet leads you to attend a performance of “Swan Lake” with the newest sensational ballerina from Russia doing Odette/Odile, and at the end of her 32 fouettés in the third act, all the gays in the audience cheer as if it were a football game and their team had just scored on a “Hail Mary” pass, and you wonder, “Huh?”

…you tend to regard the world as your personal scientific experiment, with you playing Mad Scientist to the hilt.

…after many lectures from your father that it’s important for a man to “bring home the bacon,” you blow your first paycheck on bacon, and can’t get it when Dad blows his top as you cart your load into the kitchen.

…You’re in some public place, someone comes on the PA system and says, “E.T., call home,” and you head for the phone booths.50 extra points if you’re at a convention of Aspies, and everybody heads for the phone booths on hearing the announcement.

– you write down things on a forum and mean them totally honest and serious, and the recipient cracks up laughing badly and telling you you are funny.

– if you are told you are funny (without having intended) you ruminate about it for weeks, replay your writings in your head and try to find the parts, you might find funny, is you would not know they were not meant funny.

– you have forgotten about this thread and *have to* reread it completely now, because it is about to be published elsewere.

… you dislocate your toe while getting int your jeans and have to rush to the ER and walk around with a black and blue foot for two weeks because of that

… you go to the vets, and he asks if your cat goes outside, and you say, ‘sure, sometimes’ because you think, the balcony counts as outsides.
But what he meant was, if she is n the streets and in the bushes where she might be infected with rabies or other diseases

… you come out of the grocery store and get all flappy because it is haling and you did not bring your umbrella, and a child in a car waves back and smiles

… you find a raven’s feather in your lunch break and play with it all the time in class, and get scolded for not behaving ‘normally’
(who cares? who was disturbed? is it wrong?)

… you are a regular at the toy store, looking at the and spinning all the koosh balls to see the colours fade into each other and a kid asks his mom, if you are dangerous

… You are over 30 and still have to bring your stuffed animal to each and every place for comfort (one familiar touch and smell to retreat to when stressed)

…you get asked “if we could talk about something different” when you rattle on on one of your interests and you nod and start on another interest of yours.

…you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad.

…you remember exactly where you placed which dice and sourcebook after your RPG sessions but you wouldn’t remember where your underwear is if your life would depend on it.

…you manage to safe the life of a neighbor kid because you remember what you read about toxines some 10 years ago, but you can’t remember the name of the kid.

…you keep bumping into people but the only time you actually remember to apologize is when you bump into a tree….you are at a party and try to fit in but due to stress you accidently compliment the only bald man in the room about his hairdo.

…you forget to eat or drink for a few days because you are working on an interesting project.

…someone wants to get past you and says “excuse me” and you reply “sure” without moving a bit.

…your aunt had an accident while she was out with the dog, and you ask if the dog is alright.

…you get told the juice is out when you are about to go shopping, but you don’t buy new one because you did not explicitely get told to.

…you constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn’t on your mental agenda of things to do.

..if you spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there.

…if you do your walks and excercises at night because it is quiet then and hardly anyone else around.

…if you are cleaning up the house and later find you put the oranges in the shoeholder and the shoes in the fridge.

…if you are invited to a party and spend the whole afternoon playing with the kids there.

…if you get voted “coolest mum (or dad)” because you treat kids like independent people.

…your SO has to wait with using the comp because if you stop what you are working at you’ll never get it right later.

…you are asked to write a short report and it gets over 10 pages long because otherwise you’d not fit all the important details in.

…someone did some work for you trying to help you and thus ruined your whole day and the last few months of work because you absolutely NEEDED to finish it yourself. (Just happened to me, I’m close to a meltdown)

…people come to you with all their problems because you are such a good listener, but their problems just make no sense to you.

…you collect stuffed felines and have more than 300 and know the names of all of them (and their personalities) but you still mix up your relatives.

..you play games for fun, not for winning, and the fuzz people make about losing is completely illogical to you.

…you are at a tour at a science museum and can’t help correcting your touring guide on matters of quantum mechanics.

…your science teachers often let you hold their classes because you knew better anyway.

…university students came to you when you were under 12 to get help with their science work.

…whenever someone freaks out about a spider, snake, mouse, angry dog etc. they will call you because you can deal with almost all animals. 5 extra points if they have your number on speed dial, 10 extra points if police is one of them.

…you don’t realize that people call you names because “stupid idiot” has nothing to do with you.

…you can’t take the medical examination appointment because your favorite series is on that day.

…someone tells you that his son was diagnosed with a 46, XY,del (9)(p22.3).ish del (9)(wcp9+) karyotype and you immediately know what it means. 10 extra points if you can refer him to the respective websites without checking your bookmarks.

…you go to buy butter and come back with 12 different items, none of which is butter.

….you sit around trying to decide what to work on today, and by the time you are done deciding the day is over.

…you understand a certain figure of speech because it was explained to you, but you still wonder what idiot could come up with something like that.

…your SO tells you to “smile sometimes” and you reply “I’ll do it later.”

…you follow rules to the letter – but only if they make sense to you.

..if your standard reply to any “when” questions is “In a moment” but your definition of a moment never agrees with anyone else.

…you still remember poems you learned at school 25 years ago.

…when someone says she’s “in love” with her new bathroom deco it takes you a moment to realize that was not meant literally. 10 extra points if you’ve already called up the local psych.

…you can’t grasp French no matter how hard you try, but made up languages like tlhingal Hol, Sindarin and Quenya come easy to you.

Someone asks you how you are and you give an honest answer about what a rotten day you had and go on for 5 minutes about it. Then they get insulted or bored and you get confused ’cause after all, they DID ask.

You manage to make out a list of shopping items to buy, and you hate making lists. You feel all proud of yourself for your accomplishment until you realize once you’re at the store that you left it on the kitchen counter.

You think that you have to read every part of the TV Guide, and you have to read it from front to back without skipping around. Then you get to do the puzzle in the back.

Your step-son tries to wash your dishes for you and you freak because your home is part of your personal space and you feel like he has touched you without asking.

You are a female and as a child you loved to play with “army men” and dinosaurs and couldn’t stand dolls.

You have a stuffed animal collection and have to take one with you when you travel to keep you company.

As a child you believed anything your family told you because you didn’t comprehend the concept of lying or “teasing”. So if your older brother tells you that clouds are floating rocks you believe him until you learn otherwise in school.

YOU MAY BE AN ASPIE IF you have dreams of communicating with extraterrestrials and nightmares about chatting with the next-door neighbour.

…you can assemble a working automobile from spare parts but  would rather spit-roast in Gehinnom than get behind the wheel.

…you’ve ever had to up your meds after trying to figure out why Big Bird’s knees bend forward instead of backward like other canaries with or without a glandular condition (all due apologies to Carroll Spinney).

…you have a commemorative plaque at the Tinkertoy company because of your model of the DNA molecule.

…you’ve lived all your life stateside yet prefer Recieved Standard spellings [UK] over General American ones. [e.g., “colour” over “color”]

…your sexual preference is “avoid like the *&^%$ plague”.

…you can’t stand kids but you spend inordinate amounts of time browsing through “Toys ‘R’ Us”.

…you actually KNOW that an Aspergerian is not a vegetable you cover in Hollandaise sauce.

…you find it easier to remember something reasonable like “acetylsalicylic acid” than some arcane, fancy-shmantz word like “aspirin”.

…you’re more concerned with whether the novelist splits his infinitives than with the plot elements of his novel.

…you can only remember your Social Security number after you’ve multiplied all its prime factors.

…you’ve ever been told you have the brains of the Professor and the coordination of Gilligan. (Add 10 points if they had to tell you who Gilligan is)

…none of your neighbours had renewed their cable subscriptions since you moved in.

…you’ve ever asked somebody, “THAT MUCH for Ventnor?!?! After I’ve bent over backwards to give you a decent deal on Pennsylvania?!?!”

…you were ever used as a metronome for music class (another 10 points if you played at the same time).

…you’ve often been caught dancing to supermarket music.

…you need a sedative when you go to an ice-cream parlour with more than two flavors.

…your personal slogan is “You can have my transitional object after you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.”

…you can remember the entire Gettysburg Address but not your street address.

…you firmly believe that amyotropic laterosclerosis should be named for Stephen Hawking instead of Lou Gehrig.

…your life’s ambition is to produce “Webster’s Dictionary–The Movie”.

…when someone recommends that you ask Jesus into you heart, you form a mental picture of him changing the wallpaper in your left atrium.

You like defraging your hard drive so you can watch little blue squares lining up for a couple of hours.

…every couple of months you have a chuckle over the sword-on-the-table scene in “Get Smart” even though the last time you saw it was over 30 years ago

… you remember that a popular house vine is Parthenocissus tricuspidata without thinking, but have to rack your brains to recall the NT name is Boston Ivy.

… you get your front door key out and ready to insert in the lock while still a minute’s walk from your house

You own more books than anyone in your city.

You spend over 30% of your income on either books or collectables related to an interest.  10 additional points if you’re supporting more than one interest in this manner.

The librarians know you by name and worry if you don’t come in in a few days.  Despite them knowing you, you can’t recall them.  10 additional points if they call your home to make sure you’re alive.

You introduce yourself to people you’ve already met over and over again because you are face-blind.

You would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall.

You have no idea why anyone would chose to wear tight stiff jeans and tiny T-shirts that bare the belly.

You are seen as the local authority on any arcane task.  10 additional points if people call you for information.

You own more than 3 different types of earplugs or sunglasses.

You shop for new clothes once a year or less and only retire old ones when they are no longer providing enough coverage to avoid indecent exposure charges.

You own 7 sets of identical fleece trousers and soft cotton T-shirts.

You play ‘Name That Bruise!’ in the bath, because you have no idea where you got them.

You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago.  You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.

You’re known for a large number of unusual pets.  10 additional points if these pets are creatures that make NTs squeamish like rats, snakes, ferrets, or lizards.  20 additional points if you have more than 5.

You take apart computers or other electronics for fun.  10 additional points if you started doing this before you were five years old.

You hate having to talk on the phone and confine your conversational depth to ‘Yup’, ‘Nope’, and ‘Bye’.  10 additional points if you answer the phone with either ‘Me’. or ‘What do you want?’

You let your glasses get nearly opaque with dust and schmutz because you forget to clean them.  Unless it is on your to-do list, you’ll get nearly blind before you break from your habit.

You find it a hell of a lot more rewarding to spend hours talking to an animal than 5 minutes talking to a human.

You refer to what is supposedly your own species as “Humans”.. or worse, “Homo Sapiens Sapiens”. Extra points for times you shake your head and mutter “Humans….” when you see some example of social behavior that you find unattractive, like bullying or extreme faddishness, or being boistrously over-social. Extra points if those times happen more than one time a day.

You question whether you are really a Homo Sapiens Sapiens.. and not a seperate sub-spiecies like H. Sap. Sap. Varient Aspie.

You have ever seriously wondered if some ancestor of yours was in fact a space alien who ‘jumped the fence’.

You’ve ever joked that in your last life, you lived on Alpha Centauri.

The last time you moved house, you had 25 large boxes of books to every one smallish box of clothing.

It took you, your parents, a friend, and 4 movers 3 days to move all your stuff, and you were only moving out of a 2 bedroom apartment!  (what can I say.  Clutter is my life.)

You are only reminded to dust when the cats start sneezing.

You don’t mind visitors signing their names in the dust on your furniture… but you’ll get pissed off if they add the date.

You’re the only person around who will decline an invite to a big party to stay at home to watch ‘Daily Planet’ (science news show on Discovery channel).

if you are the only one behaving rationally in a real emergencey and everyone else is angry at you for trying to get them to get to safety…

if you find it too easy to play with their minds and too hard to stop them playing with yours…

if “that`s just the way it is …” does not compute…

You can remember the exact date The Flintstones premiered (Oct. 1, 1960) and the name and production number of the first episode (P-1, “The Swimming Pool”) but completely forgot about the now-congealed tuna casserole that’s been sitting in your microwave for three days…

You get really ticked because you realize the first episode of “The Flintstones” to air on Oct. 1, 1960 was episode P-2, “The Flintstone Flyer” (it aired out of production order) but didn’t catch the mistake until you sent off the e-mail, and now you’re going to look like an idiot…

You can sing the Esperanto anthem–in Esperanto
(“En la mondon venas nova sento,
Tra la mondon iras forta voco…”)
but your own country’s national anthem throws you…(“Where was that part about the ‘ramparts’ again?”)
You actually spent hours on the internet trying to find a MIDI of the Esperanto anthem…’cause obscure anthems are your “thing” this month…

You actually know what Esperanto *is.*

You wonder why in the world someone would design a flag and write an anthem for a nonexistant nation–as you’re headed to Klingon language camp…

:edit: 9-16-15

I have discovered that the Aspie Comic has compiled a You Might Be an Aspie If… list that’s pretty spot on.

Janika Banks
I am Bluejacky from Xanga, PinkyGuerrero on twitter #PinkyRobot #PinkySox #pinkyblog PinkyGuerrero.com, original grandfortuna.xanga.com Lexx fansite Lexxperience.com, originated the #Aspienado hashtag, currently writing #ExistentialAspie ExistentialAspie.com
Janika Banks

Janika Banks

I am Bluejacky from Xanga, PinkyGuerrero on twitter #PinkyRobot #PinkySox #pinkyblog PinkyGuerrero.com, original grandfortuna.xanga.com Lexx fansite Lexxperience.com, originated the #Aspienado hashtag, currently writing #ExistentialAspie ExistentialAspie.com

One thought on “You Might Be An Aspie If…

  • Joel Manzer
    August 4, 2016 at 11:54 pm
    Permalink

    I’m very encouraged that you have returned to Autisable! Expect some enhancements in the near future as we are still working on the site.

    This post brings back a lot of memories when we first launched. Stay Awesome.

    Reply

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