Last week, I wrote an essay challenging Time Magazine’s choice of a title for its story on siblings of kids with autism. I believed calling the siblings “
autism’s invisible victims” was inappropriate and offensive.
The disgust I felt over the title choice overshadowed the article itself, which made many good points if one could get past the demonization and victimization.
The author of the story – a psychologist named Barbara Cain – had previously written a book called
Autism – The Invisible Cord: A Sibling’sDiary. I decided to download her book and see how she described life as an
autism sibling. I wondered what I would find.
I read the book in an hour, and all I can say is, what a delight! It’s a sweet and gentle account of Jenny and her life with Ezra, her autistic brother. There’s not a trace of victimization in the book and indeed I recommend it highly to anyone who has a sibling living with
autism in their life.
Barbara’s story – told in the form of short diary entries – really shows what is feels like to grow up with a brother who’s different – the joy, the hurt, the desire to protect him and the hope he will grow up and make a life on his own.
Reading her words, I thought of my own childhood, and that of my son, who also has
autism. If we’d had sisters, would they have been like the Jen of the book? I hope so.
Kudos to Barbara for a wonderful story that any sibling or family could treasure.
John Elder Robison is an autistic adult and advocate for people with neurological differences. He’s the author of Look Me in the Eye, Be Different, Raising Cubby, and Switched On. He serves on the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee of the US Dept of Health and Human Services and many other autism-related boards. He co-founded the TCS Auto Program (A school for teens with developmental challenges) and he’s the Neurodiversity Scholar in Residence at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia and an advisor to the Neurodiversity Institute at Landmark College in Putney, Vermont.
The opinions expressed here are his own. There is no warranty expressed or implied. While reading this essay will give you food for thought, actually printing and eating it may make you sick.