I was sitting here today having a little pity party for myself. Sam has been a bear lately and full of anxiety and stress. I was thinking about all the Christmas-y stuff we just can’t do because Sammy can’t handle it. I was pouting over the gifts I can’t afford and all the stuff that isn’t done. I sat here upset because my children didn’t finish their chores and I am STILL drowning in laundry. Frustrated at the aftermath of the flooded basement and my cumbersome belly that just hinders the clean up effort. I was angry that Christmas wasn’t going to be “perfect” I was wallowing. Not pretty but it is true.
Then I caught a Facebook status about Connecticut and a shooting. I assumed it was more of the same insanity that goes around this time of year. Someone lost their job and lost their crap and as a result something bad happened. I however was not prepared for what I found. A school, an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, for kids 5-10 years old was at the center of the story. Possibly 27 people killed, more than half of them likely children.
I am sick to my stomach. I can’t wrap my head around the tragedy that will ripple through the US over this senselessness. The families that lost a child, or other loved one, the first responders, and the survivors aren’t worried if the trim in their kitchen is painted in time for Christmas.
Suddenly it doesn’t matter that my tree hasn’t been decorated, or that the walls need to be painted.It’s irrelevant that they won’t get super special gifts or see the lights at Lasellete. It doesn’t matter if the laundry isn’t done… it’s never done anyway.
It made me really rethink about what is important this year and what I need to focus on. I am rethinking it all and changing my plan.
I will cuddle with the kids tonight no matter how cranky and miserable they have been. I don’t care if their chores are done, I don’t care if the laundry beeps. It. Can. Wait. because these guys are growing up far too quickly and they won’t still be there later. I am sure the parents of those children are wishing they could do the same.