Not Giving Up

diagnosis Ever since Daniel’s diagnosis in 1998 I have looked to children a little older but with a similar functioning level to get a glimpse of what he may be like in the future. I can’t recall ever feeling particularly encouraged but there was hope for a better outcome for newly diagnosed children as compared to those from 10 years earlier.

I still want to be hopeful yet now that he is 13 I’m seeing and hearing more discouraging news of children being hospitalized or placed in group homes because the parents can no longer handle the destructive and/or dangerous behaviors.

Five years ago I would never have imagined this would ever be a possibility for our family but 5 years ago my son was not able to knock me out and had never broken the arm of an innocent child. Just typing this I am tearing up at the thought of not being physically able to handle the care of my own son. This is the first time in my life that I am starting to think things may not go as I had hoped.

I have consulted with behavioral specialists and neurologists and was told point blank over a year ago that there may come a time that Daniel will not be safely manageable and we may have to consider another option and we all know what she meant. I just refuse to believe that this would ever be a possible outcome. I would consider this the ultimate failure on my part and I believe that Daniel would look at this as the ultimate betrayal.

I pray every day that this will not be the case and in our quieter moments I sit with Daniel and ask him what I need to do to make his life easier so that we can continue to help each other cross through this rough patch in our lives. He is still not talking but in spite of everything I am not giving up.

Have you ever felt like giving up?

Kate Myers on Google
Kate Myers

0 thoughts on “Not Giving Up

  • September 1, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    @babixk1umzy@xanga – @Nameless_woman@xanga – 

    I am truly humbled by your comments and I thank you for  any prayers on our behalf.  I honestly did not expect this reaction from readers because I felt like I was thowing myself a bit of a pitty party in this post and was ashamed at my dwindling resolve in that moment. 

    I am truly blessed to have been able to touch someone’s heart and I want you all to know that I have you on my list to be lifted up in my prayers for whatever your struggles are this day.

    Tnank You!!

  • September 1, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Your blog touched me deeply in so many different places. Though I am not a mother of an autistic child, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is for you to not only see your child go through this difficult time but how hard it must be for you and your family as well.

    Being a mother alone to any child is difficult and a struggle sometimes and though I have and still complain sometimes, I’ll look back at your hardship and realize that their are far more worst situations than that of mine. You truly are an inspiration and of course Daniel too!

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and best of luck!

  • September 1, 2009 at 9:46 am


    well, thank you very much for your message (reply).

    thumbs up from my side again.

    i am eagerly waiting to read your more posts.



    (tito dutta)

  • September 1, 2009 at 9:33 am

    @trulytito@xanga – @the_kcar@xanga –@jeannicol – 

    Thank you all for your lovely and thoughful posts.  You’ve really touched my heart and I am deeply greatful and more determined than ever.  As soon as Danny wakes up this morning I’m going to give him his usual hug and a kiss on the forehead and then I will tell him that he’s got a lot of people in his corner :0)

    You are awesome!!!!!

  • September 1, 2009 at 6:25 am

    Don’t give up on your dreams for Daniel, he needs you to use the strength you get from the many, many good days to help him with the rough spots! Most importantly don’t stop trying to find a way to help him be able to communicate his needs and feelings because then it will be much clearer to both of you what you need to do. I believe we need to first put all our efforts into helping those with autism (or any other communication disorder) find a way to communicate.

  • September 1, 2009 at 5:56 am

    @P1AutismMom – Not only was your blog heartening, but your follow-up post. I’m a mother of a 15 YO son who is a high-functioning, moderately autistic teen. I had gritted my teeth as he began high school…but he seems to be doing well, thus far. For what it’s worth, we all go through times of, “Is it going to help?”…this is not only normal, but healthy, after a fashion – it helps to reinforce our determination to see our kids do well.

    Thanks for sharing your post, and congratulations on your post becoming featured.

  • September 1, 2009 at 3:30 am


    wonderful post.


    thumbs up from my side.

    be hopeful.

    one should never give up.

    cheers to life.



    (tito dutta)

  • August 31, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    @liferemainsbeautiful@xanga –  ~ Exactly ~

    I will say to those of you who have been in or are currently in a daunting situation: If someone does need the assistance of an outside source to help them through a particularly trying time it is truly not giving up but maybe just asking for a little help while they pick themselves up off the floor, dust off and work towards the goal, for as long as that goal is still in your sights no one can say, you’ve given up. 

    P.S. The question at the end of the post is not mine but from Autisable editors to inspire a dialogue.   It’s ok, I guess but if you feel moved by a post you will “discuss.”   I’ve seen it and all Ive got to say is WOW!!!

  • August 31, 2009 at 10:01 am

    I think your post coupled with your comment is a very realistic portrayal of any parent dealing with a tough situation.  Good days, and bad days. 

  • August 31, 2009 at 9:49 am

    A follow up to this post…  

    I was a little embarrassed that this post was picked up from my blog only because it seems contradictory in many ways to previous posts.  Well, yeah our lives have become a contradiction unto themselves in many ways on many days.  It’s just the nature of this mom’s reality and that of her child. 

    There are days that things are running along smoothly and we feel encouraged and then a day happens like the day of my writing this post where I have been hit in the chest so hard I felt like my heart was broken, literally and figuratively.  These moments are shorter in duration than the good times but maybe due to the physical nature of them the impact is stronger.

    I use my personal blog as somewhat of a diary, a theraputic exercise in written form.  Sometimes it is a prayer on “paper” asking God to provide the strength needed to get through the day and other times it is a Thank You letter to him for the blessings he has provided thus far.  I had actually deleted this post from my personal blog but I guess not quickly enough and maybe that is a good thing.

    But don’t lament deer readers! This Mom is a determined individual and Daniel isn’t going anywhere… except to school on Thursday 🙂

    Today is a Good day!!

Leave a Reply