Let’s Talk About Impulse Control and Autism
Impulse control has always been an issue with my little man. Now that he’s getting older, it’s getting even harder to help him restrain himself from acting out on impulse. This causes many issues. Let’s discuss some of these issues, then we will move on to more about Impulse Control, and some ways we as parents and relatives can try and help our children.
People see this as bad behavior.
While I really don’t care what people think of me, I do care what they think of my children. To the untrained eye, my cutie acting out impulsively looks a lot look he’s misbehaving. In all actuality, he just can’t help himself.
Other people think that reprimanding my child is helping.
Family, friends, even strangers whom think they are helping will often times try correcting the child. Don’t. All you’re going to do is cause more guilt for the child. Preaching to the child about what they’ve just done is only adding more guilt to something they had no control over in the first place. If you want to help, try redirecting the child, or distracting the child. (Ie: Susie grabbed the kitten even though she was asked not to. Don’t yell at her. Don’t preach to her. Simply tell her the kitten is off limits, and then gravitate her attention towards something else.)
Think before speaking
This is especially an issue in our home. Our eldest son has moved back home for a bit, and he rarely thinks before he speaks. (Much like Liam, lol.) For example, Liam will be getting on his nerves and he’ll say, “go ahead, hit me if it makes you feel better.” He’s saying it in jest, trying to make light of a tense situation. However, all Liam hears is, “go ahead, hit me.” He doesn’t pick up on the social cues. He doesn’t get the joke. Now Liam is swinging like a pro baseball player at his brother. Brother is angry, and Liam is upset because in his mind, he’s doing what he was told. Now his brother, and often times his dad are yelling, because to them, Liam is acting out. It becomes monotonous having to break up conflicts like this. Conflicts that can be avoided if people just took more time to understand Autism and impulse controls. (I’m not saying my husband and son don’t understand. They do. Hubby is always trying to keep the peace, and our eldest is out of practice as he’s never lived here full time, so he’s not completely up to par on our Autism world.)
Now that we’ve discussed some problems that arise from Impulse Control, let’s talk about what it is.
Knowing the stages, what are some ways to help children learn from it, or even to help diminish the impulses?
Don’t just focus on what the person did wrong, but also on what they should have done.
Work on listening skills
Repeat back
Practice waiting
Make it a game
Get the wiggles out
Work on emotions
It can be hard for kids to understand their emotions though, even if you are trying your best to explain them. So, a solution for this is to use children’s books about emotions to help. This way, they are seeing examples of their emotions in stories that they are engaging with, and it may help them to understand them a little easier going forward.
