Riding Shotgun
[ alternatively titled: the Rabinowitz Bubble Revisited]
Today is officially our first full day of summer break. I haven’t written much over the last several months. Well, let’s be honest. I haven’t blogged at all. I’ve really missed writing here but for me to write something down it takes time, quiet, and a lot of emotional and mental energy; none of which I’ve had much of this past school year. At least regarding autism.
I’ve also had trouble coming up with something to write about. All-in-all it’s been a pretty “typical” year for the Rabinowitz tribe. Yes, autism still lives with us. Autism has challenged us. And, in the moments when I’ve watched Henry try to connect with some of his peers or not be able to do an activity because of bugs, autism has also broken my heart. But that’s normal for us; the way things just…are. I’ve written before about what I call The Rabinowitz Bubble. That’s where I’ve been living this past school year.
We’ve had great successes and we’ve had challenges. More often than not, I’ve shared small snippets of these on my Facebook page. And that’s been enough for me. In our family bubble I don’t feel the need to go into every minute detail of our lives and what living with autism is like for us. It just IS. When I think about it, that’s the big part of my not blogging these last many months. Because really, “typical” is rather “boring” isn’t it.
I’ve enjoyed being “boring”. As many, many (too many, really) of you know, autism is often a daily, 24/7/365, in-your-face, way of life. This past school year I’ve been able to scoot it aside, for the most part, and let it sit next to me. It’s refreshing. I’ve been able to concentrate more on building a business. (Yeah, that’s a shameless plug. Deal with it.) I’ve also worked on my fiction, both reading it and writing my own. I’ve been able to become more involved in Molly’s high school band. Although, that’s a bit insane of me. I’ll admit I’m not sure what I was thinking on that one! And even more crazy for me is, as of 6 weeks ago, I began running. Well, technically “wogging” (walking/jogging) but still, Runkeeper calls it running. So, “running” it is because it makes me feel better about the whole madness of it. I’ve actually been able to go a few hours without thinking about autism at all! Seriously. I can hardly believe it myself! I think I must be learning to compartmentalize it better.
All of this gives me hope that perhaps, some day, autism will take a backseat in our lives. Yeah, I’m sure at times it will be one of those annoying backseat drivers and even occasionally jump back up into the driver’s seat. That’s okay. That’s what it IS. For now, this summer, I’ll be content to let autism ride shotgun.
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