It’s raining cats and dogs!?

When I was very young three to four years old maybe five my Grandpa would say this when there was a downpour. “It’s raining cats and dogs.”   I would then look out the window and watch the rain. I would think to myself why does Grandpa think it going to rain cats and dogs clearly its just rain. Then I sit and wonder if I was wrong. Maybe somehow animals fell from the sky when it rained too hard. I found the thought to be scary. Would they crash in the windows and attack? But it was so weird I knew it wasn’t going to happen but maybe I was wrong why else what Grandpa say that?

So after everyone left the room I would be sitting at the window thinking these thoughts over.

Because of this my older sister would come up to me and would make fun of me. ” It’s really not going to rain cats and dogs Katie.”

” Why would Grandpa say that then?”

” Its just a expression.”

” Then why couldn’t he say its going rain?”

After my sister explained it to me I felt so much better. I wasn’t crazy and furry animals weren’t going to start falling from the sky and no my grandpa wasn’t crazy either.

” Its raining cats and dogs!”

I said it whenever it started to rain. It felt great. Then I would go on and make up sayings of my own.

As the years went on I made a best friend. By then I was around five or six.She looked up to me. We did everything together. We would play in her finished basement together the whole basement was ours, not just the playroom. I would make up games to play and we spend hours pretending that the floor of her basement was covered with hot lava slowly melting the furniture. We would have to hop from the couch to the footrest but there was still a good five feet yet to the stairs and soon we were going to melt.  Sometimes I would leap the distance from the footrest to the bottom stair.  ” Hurry Melissa your going to melt!” But she didn’t jump as much. But I didn’t want my friend to melt. So I would pretend there were metal boots on the footrest for her and told her to put them on.

“Huh?”

” The metal boots! Put them on and you won’t melt!”

She’d give me a funny look and I would have to explain. Then afterward she play along and reach the stairs. We played this game for hours. But we also play go fish or run in the yard or pick strawberries in the back field. It was great. We spent all our time together she would even come to my house and we play with my fake make up and eat oranges.

But then something happened. My best friend wasn’t listening to me anymore.  We were playing tea party one day when she wanted to open my bedroom window. I said no. “Why not?”  ” Mom and Dad said I can’t the window is old and will fall.”

“It won’t fall”

” Yes it will”

Then she went and opened the window. I was shocked.  She was going to get hurt. I kept playing with my toys and told her again she was going to get hurt.

“See Katie the window didn’t fall.” She said smiling as she propped the window open her hands resting on the pane. I didn’t know what to do. I knew the window was going to fall it had fallen before that window was old.

And then it did.

My best friends hands were crushed and she let out a horrible scream.

“I told you!!

MOM!!!”

I had never felt so bad in my short life. From then on I went on to explain things to my friend Melissa.  She was a year older then me too.  I went on to tell her how she looked up to me. ” I do not.”

“Yes you do. I got my hair cut and then you did.”
I was right. Then I go on to explain other things. She go on and tell her mother. In turn the three of would chat in the kitchen. First her Mom enjoyed it. Then something changed. Her Mom didn’t like our talks as much anymore I could tell by the look in her eye. I started to see my friend less and it broke my heart. What did I do? I would talk to my Mom but she got that same look in her eye.

Things seem to fall apart from that point. My parents divorced.  I stopped talking as much.

Still my family would come to me with questions. I didn’t understand why they would ask me. Couldn’t they figure it out for themselves? The strange part was whatever I told them they would do. We would sit and chat and then they follow my advice. I loved it.

But I wanted to spend time with them and goof off but they were too busy off doing what I told them.

My parents went on to marry three more times ( not to each other).

My family fell apart.

Even my step brothers and parents would listen to me.

As a young teen I felt like the mother to my stepbrothers. I just wanted to be a kid. How could I get straight A’s, be the perfect role model student, then come home do the dishes get my homework done, help with dinner and do the clean up. I knew I couldn’t do it. Everyone wanted me too.  I kept to myself at school. I hated my life. My Dad wouldn’t listen to me or logic ( His head is in the clouds with religion). My Mom didn’t seem to know what to do with me.

No one was listening to me now,  How I  felt.

Linkin Park became my favorite band. Why was no one listening to me?!

” Call to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me…Told you everything loud and clear, but nobody’s listening”

” I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there become so tired so much more aware I’m becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.” ~ Linkin Park

I  didn’t do drugs never drank but I was depressed. And for some reason my family thought I was doing drugs. That made me even more depressed. I felt invisible to my family. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted my life normal. I wanted my family to see how smart and funny I was but that I loved to have fun too.

Long story short I left. And now five years later I’m happy. I have my own life and friends. I am who I want to be and am on the road to where I want to be.

I have Aspergers.

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