Chasing a Fantasy
Being a single parent I guess I just cope in my own way with taking care of both of my children’s regular needs and their special needs. Over 10 years there have been tons of suggestions made to me, links to news clips on autism, and phone calls telling me to watch a news program on autism. Some I pay attention to and some I don’t. It’s not that I don’t care about my daughter’s well being but I just don’t have time or have it in me any more to get hyped about something that probably won’t work.
I don’t know the average person’s family history but there are things about my genetic line and also things about her father’s genetic line that could be why she is on the spectrum and there is also the issue of a traumatizing birth. Or maybe she it’s just that this is how things were meant to be.
I don’t have the money to try a lot of things pushed onto parents of those on the spectrum to buy and try and her father is useless.
I mean seriously, I don’t have time to waste with pipe dreaming or crying all day everyday or running from place trying to make appts some “professionals” want you to attend. I am too busy trying to make sure that all involved directly in my daughter’s life stay on track with my life goals for her. There are so many things to look forward to and push your child towards as they age, that to me trying everything touted on some show is wasting time.(and you must know that people do lie and it’s not impossible that the tv people will lie for their own agendas such as money or have guests on to inflate their story or that people will lie about what worked for them, as more people are diagnosed with autism, it’s becoming big business).
Over the years I have seen my child be able to do so much more and blend in so much better than her peers on the spectrum and others with differences. And no my goal isn’t to make her fit in. It’s to make her life as good as it can be while still attending to her issues but not letting those differences be the center of our lives, her life!!
Autism is just a condition that affects a person, it is not life. It is not life threatening. It’s not that bad. Just live your life and let your child’s be as good as it can, just like you would if they were never diagnosed.
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I think your balanced look on it sounds fine. We can’t do everything- especially on limited resources. If we could afford all of the things people say to do, would life really be that much improved for our children? I kind of doubt it. Keep doing your best, and loving your daughter- that sounds like it’s working out good.
You have one lucky daughter! I don’t think it gets much better than a mom wanting her child’s life to be “as good as it can be”! We have to do our best with the resources we have, being open to new things that we can access to help our kids be their personal best! If only everyone could do that! Autism is a part of who she is, that brings needs to be attended to as well as all her other needs!