Would You Want to Know (Followup)

I'm not normal Followup to a prior post

I’m not normal.  I know that.  My intellectual abilities.  My schooling history.  My religious journey.  What happened less than four minutes after I was born.  My family.

But there were a few things (see prior post) in my past (needing speech therapy, occupational therapy, above-average brains, etc.) that make me wonder if I’m somewhere in the spectrum.  I want to say, “no, no, no.”  But…I know I’m different.  When I originally posted (late May), I wasn’t fully convinced that I was somewhere on the spectrum.

I’m still not.  But, a few things…maybe I’m going crazy.
Maybe I’m just an autism-spectrum-hypochondriac.
Maybe I’m trying to figure out why the gears in my head spin the other way?
(When the only tool is a hammer, every problem is a nail.  When the only all-encompassing theory is ‘autism spectrum’, every quirk gets held up to that light.)

I mean, I’m looking over (what in my mind is) the stupidest little things.  

I get a to-do list.  For heavens’ sake, write it down, I can’t remember all that…
I talk to myself.  A lot.  (Maybe it’s just the hour-each-way commute.)
I go to the ball game at a minor-league park.  And I really really want one of those foul balls.  And frankly, with the open grassy hill area on the side of the 3rd base line, I’ve got a shot (not a great shot, but a shot) at grabbing one.  Is it just a baseball fan’s obsession or a AS-quirk?
Then, there’s the whole adventure of watching Rain Man.  *I’m nothing like that*  *am I?*

Finally – To my one friend…you’re so quick to remind me about whats-his-name – that I need to understand him.  (You say he’s autistic.  Is he?  Is it ADD?  What’s your proof?).  But in the same breath, you ask me “are you a retard?”
(Do you know how mad that makes me?)

If life ever calms down…
…maybe I need to find out.

What is normal to you?

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0 thoughts on “Would You Want to Know (Followup)

  • July 25, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    There’s no normal! Normal’s whatever you want it to be; it’s doing whatever makes you happy. 🙂 Screw everyone else! 😀

  • July 24, 2009 at 9:25 am

    If you can think and feel and have relationships with other people and want a life,..which you can accomplish without hurting other people,..then you fit into the “definition” of normal in MY book!!

  • July 23, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    It’s across the board.  I have lupus (on top of the autism), and people constantly say “You don’t look sick”, or question me like I don’t know what I’m talking about.  “Think healthy”, they say.  “Get more exercise.”  Likewise, if I mention Asperger’s, the first thing I get is “You don’t have Asperger’s, you can look me in the eye.”

    You’re not crazy.  To me having autism IS normal.  And I was actually relieved when I finally started seeing a psychologist about having social interaction problems, and he took me seriously and never once questioned me being autistic.  Of course, I nearly knocked over a lamp 3 times on my first visit because my nerves were so bad that my hands were sliding back and forth along the wall behind me…

  • July 23, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    in my personal opinion (because it’s all I can give, LOL) normal is nothing more than a vague generalization of the overall. I’ve been told several times that I’m not normal. Yet, I’ve never once seen a therapist or psychologist. I’m pretty sure I have some form of OCD, at the very least, but frankly I don’t care. You live each day according to your wants, needs, and hopes. Try to get a little happiness out of it. And, try not to over-analyze the little things, and belittle the little joys you still have. That to me, is normal. 

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