Followup to a prior post
I’m not normal. I know that. My intellectual abilities. My schooling history. My religious journey. What happened less than four minutes after I was born. My family.
But there were a few things (see prior post) in my past (needing speech therapy, occupational therapy, above-average brains, etc.) that make me wonder if I’m somewhere in the spectrum. I want to say, “no, no, no.” But…I know I’m different. When I originally posted (late May), I wasn’t fully convinced that I was somewhere on the spectrum.
I’m still not. But, a few things…maybe I’m going crazy.
Maybe I’m just an autism-spectrum-hypochondriac.
Maybe I’m trying to figure out why the gears in my head spin the other way?
(When the only tool is a hammer, every problem is a nail. When the only all-encompassing theory is ‘autism spectrum’, every quirk gets held up to that light.)
I mean, I’m looking over (what in my mind is) the stupidest little things.
I get a to-do list. For heavens’ sake, write it down, I can’t remember all that…
I talk to myself. A lot. (Maybe it’s just the hour-each-way commute.)
I go to the ball game at a minor-league park. And I really really want one of those foul balls. And frankly, with the open grassy hill area on the side of the 3rd base line, I’ve got a shot (not a great shot, but a shot) at grabbing one. Is it just a baseball fan’s obsession or a AS-quirk?
Then, there’s the whole adventure of watching Rain Man. *I’m nothing like that* *am I?*
Finally – To my one friend…you’re so quick to remind me about whats-his-name – that I need to understand him. (You say he’s autistic. Is he? Is it ADD? What’s your proof?). But in the same breath, you ask me “are you a retard?”
(Do you know how mad that makes me?)
If life ever calms down…
…maybe I need to find out.
What is normal to you?