You’re offended by “muggle”?


“What do you mean when i use the word “muggle”?

Its a reference to harry potter, where it is used by jk rowling to distinguish between the characters who live a certain way (with magic) and those who live a different life style (muggles or non magic folk).Tits a term of endearment in the book and i use it to show the difference between my main characters and those who don’t live the same way as we do. Its a concept many asd kids identify with, that they are in their world of Hogwarts and there are those who live outside that world, the muggles who couldn’t comprehend how the Hogwarts world is. it has inspired many autistic kids to write fan fiction as they can understand that moment of having your differences explained “you’re a wizard harry!”. Even JK Rowling references this similarity and describes many of the characters as having asd traits such as Hermoine andLuna Lovegood. Mainly I use it to avoid using words like “NORMAL” and NEUROTYPICAL which implies there’s something wrong with my children in comparison to other kids. why must i refer to them as normal which by definition means my children are what, not normal? there must be a definition between the two when im writing so i would rather use a term that simply implies one group live one life style and another live differently. Plus I’m a proper Potter head! No offense meant, you know I’m not like that! I aint from slytherin!”

This was how i explained my use of the word Muggle to a friend of mine who asked and was unsure if it was an insult or not. Its merely a way of defining two separate societies. Those with special needs and those without.

I appreciate that most grown ups don’t know the reference im making to Harry Potter. But surely if you don’t know what the word means how can you be offended by it in the first place?! Just because i didn’t use the acceptable definition of a child without special needs?

I refuse to use words like normal, ordinary, neurotypical, and mainstream as by trying not to offend your children i end up offending mine!

Lets take a look shall we at all the offensive words my children could get labelled with:
mongol, spastic, retard, weird, freak, mongtard, mong, disabled, thick, unsociable  stupid, vegetable, spaz, naughty, tard, billy no mates, OCD, mental, brain-dead  special needs, special ed, not normal, simple, backwards, handicapped, learning difficulties, window licker, basket case, socially inept and undateable…
And your offended by the word Muggle!? The list to describe children without a disability consists of words like normal, ordinary, mainstream, able bodied, functioning, social able, and neurotypical.  I find these words offensive but nobody has an issue using them in front of me on a daily basis. The opposite to all these words are negatives and i refuse to use them as they serve to highlight the faults in my own children.
So i chose the least offensive word I could for me, which summed up exactly how i felt. Muggles know nothing of my world or the world of my children, just like they don’t in the book. Its not used as an offensive term in the book (that’s mudblood for those who want to be pedantic) and its not used as an offensive term in my blog.
But you wanna know secretly deep down why i use it? Because it makes my kids the special ones. The ones with magic powers and special lives. It gives my kids something that no “ordinary” kids have. It makes them extraordinary and maybe that’s what people don’t like?
Throughout their lives Cody and Jesse will be compared to others in a lesser light and i will here people use derogatory words, however unoffensive they think they may be, against my children and to describe my children. Do you know what its like to be told by people who don’t know you that because of their diagnosis Cody and Jesse are by definition unemotional, will form no emotional attachment to you, have learning difficulties, lack  imagination, unsociable, unable to socially communicate, will be low functioning and obsessive.
So no, in my eyes Cody and Jesse are special. They are magic. They have abilities no one else does. They are exciting and talented. They can achieve things others can’t. They live a different and extraordinary life.
I never considered using muggle to insult anyone. I used it so i didn’t insult my own kids!

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Donna Street
The story of a mother and her Autistic children.
Donna Street


The story of a mother and her Autistic children.

40 thoughts on “You’re offended by “muggle”?

  • February 24, 2013 at 10:40 am

    @Jonsmom01 – Nope, ASD politics and culture doesn’t motivate him… I read the fellow’s blog. Seriously, the bad has far out weighed the good for him. He genuinely believes that there is nothing good in life, and that is a state lower than misery. He hates the world, and it’s almost impossible for him to tell.

  • February 14, 2013 at 9:10 am

    @Blue_Moon1@xanga – All I have to say is the abundance of evidence in favor of evolution is more than enough evidence to destroy the notion of “God.” The peer reviewed science points to gradual evolution over a period of billions of years and a very old universe, not a 6,000 year old one spontaneously created.

    In essence: science proves the Bible is fiction.

  • February 14, 2013 at 7:19 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – you made the assertion , not I. I just demand that YOU prove your case since YOU made the statement. dodging the fact that you can’t prove what you say, does not make it true. This isn’t a court of Law, thus you make a statement YOU have to prove it, or you are simply wrong in the eyes of anyone who disagrees. If you want to prove something, the burden of proof is on you, and You must be the one to prove it by using  information that your opposition considers credible, or you lose. Court rules do not apply in simple public opinion. I will say in our country you are free to believe anything you choose. Even if it is WRONG 🙂  you’re expressing opinion, and you know about opinion they’re like assholes, most everyone has one.

  • February 13, 2013 at 11:08 am

    @Blue_Moon1@xanga – You’re making the positive assertion therefore the burden of proof is on you. It’s the prosecution’s job to make the case, not the defense’s. The evidence that “God” doesn’t exist is plentiful in not only the lack of evidence that it DOES but also by science that has consistently affirmed evolution and debunked creationism.

  • February 13, 2013 at 10:58 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – I’d be interested in you’re  choosen personal  level and substance, of so called “Hard Core Evidence ”   that God DOESN’T exist?   Where is it?  Also, it must be accepted and proven by all  of Mankind including myself. Like you I reserve final personal choice of what is valid proof, and what is not. It cannot  be just your personal spouting.

    Oh my, you can’t produce what you demand of others? Than YOU MUST BE WRONG. …… to use your manner of , and this is using the term loosely….. “reasoning”

    I suggest you go back to drowning in your secret beer, and sober up and put your bigboy pants on before you start Pontificating again.

  • February 13, 2013 at 10:38 am

    I don’t intend to be too pickly, but a little editing might be in order within your first paragraph. I love them, but I’ve never heard anyone use that word as a term of endearment

    “…..(muggles or non magic folk)   .Tits  a term of endearment in the book…..”

    I’m assuming, you , as do most, occasionally hit the wrong key, but one might say the term “Tits”  ….stuck out so to speak 🙂

     By the way I understand your point, and am not fully against it, but wonder how wise it is to start labeling people, even if the children understand. In the end labels almost always tend to become a way of belittling someone. Such as an angry child screaming “you’re just a MUGGLE, you’ll never understand or be special”

     Teaching that it is acceptable to belittle someone who is “different” in anyway seems like the wrong thing to ever do. What if the “muggles” suddenly made tee-shirts that had an arrow and it pointed and said “Autie”       Would you be as happy to see or hear someone call your child that? Simply because other children “understood” what it meant ? Just something to consider……

  • February 12, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Just to counter some of this awful negativity I will say this…  I have an ASD and my son has an ASD.  I am a school teacher.  My son is doing very well in school and will likely be out of special education by middle school.  Most people can’t tell that I have any condition at all anymore thanks to therapy and good friends who were patient enough to let me know when my “quirks are showing” if we are in mixed company and to embrace those same quirks if it is just myself and my friends.  There IS hope for us and I agree with not using negative terms.  If a situation actually requires me to differentiate between “us” and everyone else, I usually just say we are “colorfully wired” as opposed to “greyscale” or that my son and I are “extra crispy chickens” while my other son is an “original recipe chicken”.  That way if they overhear, it will never seem as though one is better than the other.  My son goes to AWANAS at church at an age appropriate level and he is in an age appropriate Sunday school.  If he acts autistically at church, the other kids just say “That’s just how Nate is” and keep playing with and around him.  Total acceptance. Never lose hope.

  • February 12, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    Poor you no one will ever understand what you’re going through so create a line to make them feel even more different from your kid. Good idea.

  • February 11, 2013 at 6:49 pm

    @Mangonese@xanga – Well, the only truly existent experiences are negative (there is no such thing as a positive experience), so you know take your pick. An experience or a lack of one. Since you are the anti-thesis of my statement on better never to have been (and have said this yourself) it seems as though you’d prefer the negative experience over none at all. 

  • February 11, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    @Mangonese@xanga – I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere, and you aren’t the boss of me so I don’t have to listen to you.

    Sorry you don’t like the facts either, but they are the facts. Nobody ever said the facts were easy to accept, but unlike you and the other idiots on here, the facts aren’t tainted by emotional appeal. 

    The reason why disabled people are discriminated against is because they are, well, disabled and as such incapable of doing most, if not all jobs in this world. Darwinism is cruel but it’s the only fair way to do things, and I’ll admit that myself.

  • February 11, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – “Ignorance really is bliss, which is also why it would have been better never to have been born (true for all of us, not just the disabled).”

    You do realize you’re contributing to the problem of others experiencing negativity, right?

  • February 11, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – What the


    is wrong with you?

    Do you realize that people like


    are the reason why people who are disabled are discriminated against this day in age? Do you realize that people like


    are part of the reason why disabled people can’t find work?

    I’ve avoided saying, but I’ll just say it now. If anyone in the world is worthless, it’s you. You’re spineless. You’re cruel. You’re blind and stupid. Do us all a favor and disappear. No one respects your cowardly opinions. No one likes you.

  • February 11, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    @agear – Yeah, you have all those things and you had a kid anyway who will likely inherit your genetic anomalies. Awesome. NOT. Irresponsible breeding like this is precisely why I support eugenics.

    Prayer works? Every scientific/statistical study I’ve read on prayer concludes the opposite: that it has no measurable effect whatsoever. Like I said, I’m going to base my positions on statistical and scientific evidence, not on emotional appeal. One study showed a higher rate of complications of those who were prayed for and knew it (link).

    I should be happy that I even had a career? WRONG. It would have been better never to have had a career at all than get to taste what it’s like to have a career then lose it, because I’d have never known what I was missing otherwise. That saying “it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” is a load of BS. Ignorance really is bliss, which is also why it would have been better never to have been born (true for all of us, not just the disabled).

  • February 11, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    I will pray because prayer works. Like you I don’t have a career and am disabled with fibro, arthritis, and many other things but being neg and depressing doesn’t help my son at all so I have to keep hope for my sons sake. You should be happy that you even had a career as I could not finish college because of ADD and memory issues so I hope my son can have a better outlook than me and need positive people to keep me going. Being negative like you doesn’t help you or anyone else. I hope people like you stay away from places like these because they do nothing but harm. I won’t lower myself to your level anymore by responding again. Please just keep your comments to yourself and I hope the owner of this blog will block any further comments from you.


  • February 11, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    @agear – Pray all you want. “God” doesn’t exist so it doesn’t do any good (or, if you’re going to claim “God” does exist, how about providing some hardcore, scientific evidence for your assertions). As for a purpose, well, none of us have one either, autistic or not. Our existence is meaningless (and that goes for ALL of us).

    I stand by what I said. 80% of autistic people will end up like me. Sorry you don’t like the truth. Nobody ever said the truth was always pretty, though. Reality sucks, doesn’t it? As I said, I’m speaking from first-hand experience. I’ve had three failed careers, my fourth career is already failing, and I’m disabled and I’m probably going to wind up homeless eventually. I’m not the only one either. As I said, 80%+ of my fellow autistic will end up like me.

  • February 11, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – myausomeson needs to be blocked from any discussion here and in any autism blog. There is no place for such hatefulness and negativity. You are no help to yourself or other people with your awful atttitude. I am a great Harry Potter fan and love the term “muggle”. I am proud to be different because if everyone were the same the world would be totally boring. It doesn’t matter if a kid is “neurotypical” or not having a attitude like yours is not going to help them at all. Everyone needs positive encouragement.

    I agree with secretbeerreporter@xanga . I think you really should seek some therapy to deal with your bitterness. Trolls like you serve no purpose and need to keep your hurtful words to yourself. Statistics don’t mean anything because each person is an individual and unique and maybe God has a purpose for them. Maybe it’s as simple as teaching someone patience or bringing some love into their life. It’s not up to us to judge people that we never met based on a label. I will pray for you that you see the light and can fix your horrible attitude.


  • February 11, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    @Andrea Scott-Thomason@facebook – And you think I *DON’T deal with the “horseshit” that is autism day in and day out? Need I remind you I LIVE it in FIRST PERSON?!?!?!? You don’t know what it’s like to be your kid. You don’t know what it’s going to be like for him when he grows up. You don’t know jack fucking SHIT and you CAN’T unless you live with it from a first-person perspective. You think you’re stronger than me? Sorry, wrong again. It takes some balls to admit when you’re a failure and quit deluding yourself into thinking you aren’t. That takes a hell of a lot more balls than pretending you’re great and you’re going to be successful and whatever in light of the overwhelming evidence you’re not.

    I know my bitterness will never be resolved by any means. Three failed careers, working on a fourth failed career and ending up completely disabled would make just about anyone irreparably bitter, don’t you think? “Professional help” is a sham. As long as they have your money, they don’t care about your problems even though they pretend to.

  • February 11, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – Nah.. I won’t because in 10 years I will have forgotten this conversation and have moved on in my life. You are not even a blip on my radar. I just think its amusing that you feel the need to pick fights with people that are in all honesty stronger than you mainly because we deal with this horseshit everyday. I think you really need some professional help, if you think coming on here is going to resolve any of your bitterness that you currently have. And you have made that quite apparent that you are indeed bitter by all of your posts. I think you have gone the wrong way with dealing with your issues. Again I hope you find happiness in your life. 🙂

  • February 11, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    @myausomeson – Give me a break. Like I said, I used to think my future was bright. Until I got into the real world and realized what my true fate was. Love doesn’t exist, so how can you possibly love your kid? Don’t even give me that BS. Come 10 years from now when you realize I’m right, don’t come crying to me because I won’t offer you any sympathy. I’ll just rub it in your face. 

  • February 11, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    @Andrea Scott-Thomason@facebook – The hell I am a “sad” individual. I don’t know how anyone in my situation couldn’t be just downright depressed. Maybe if you lived a day in my shoes you’d understand a lot better why I’m a “sad” individual.

    Don’t even bring up how much you love your kids. Love doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as love. It’s not real. Get over it. You’re just saying all this crap to make yourself feel better about the reality that the 80% lives in. As I said, I AM the 80%. Maybe your kid will be the 20%, and nobody would want that for them more than me. But as much as you can hope for it, you have got to be realistic. You need to take your reality blinders off. I live in reality, you are not.

    Mark my words, come 10 years from now you’re going to look back on this and say “wow, he WAS right.” Because I AM right. You don’t think I used to think like you? That life was all great and that I was going to do great things regardless of what other people said? Well, guess what, I used to think EXACTLY that and when I got out in the real world is when I found out just how DEAD WRONG I was. It was a real wake-up call for me, and one so rude that I spend every waking moment of every day wishing I had never been born and resenting my mother for allowing me to be born. My mother somewhat agrees, too. Had she known then what my fate would have been, she’d have not had me. That doesn’t mean I don’t resent her for having me, just that I resent her a little less for it.

  • February 11, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    I agree @secretbeerreporter@xanga  is a troll….has nothing better to do than to try and ruin other’s day bc this person is so miserable with their own self. You know none of us or our children, you have no room to judge, statistics or not…..I refuse to waste any more of my time replying to you. I have a child to love, a child to nurture, and a child to raise to be a better person than you @secretbeerreporter@xanga

  • February 11, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – Hahaha.. I think someone is apparently really bitter. And that is fine. People are allowed to be bitter about things. Here is the thing about that. It is how you deal with your bitterness. Perhaps coming on to a blog for Parents of Autistic children and announcing that their children aren’t going to amount to much, due to some “research” done on the internet, isn’t the best way to deal with your issues. Psychology might help but this not so much. That is the thing right there. You, Secret Beer Reporter think you are doing us parents a service by posting all your Stats. Well here is the deal, we don’t care  about the stats. We see our children everyday. We know what they are capable of, you do not. Most of us are looking at your posts and thinking Wow what a sad individual.What you underestimate is the power of love a parent has for their children. We will never stop fighting the ignorance.  And to honest with you, in 10 years, I hope you have moved on from “watching me eat my crow” Because if you haven’t, well that is just pathetic. I hope you find some happiness in your life. I really do. 🙂

  • February 11, 2013 at 11:52 am

    @Andrea Scott-Thomason@facebook – Come 10 years from now I’m going to be laughing so hard when you’re eating crow. You don’t know anything. You’re basing all of this on pure emotion, not on raw fact. I have no time for emotional appeal, and especially when the research demonstrates how dead wrong you are, and also especially when it is the reality I live in, and it’s not because of lack of trying either. As I said, I tried to make something of myself. I busted my ass harder than every other person I know. You know what? I’m still nothing but a disabled failure in the end, and that’s all I ever will be. I am the 80%, and there’s an 80% chance your kids will be too.

  • February 11, 2013 at 11:47 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – Meh.. I think you are troll… and I am going to leave it at that. I am somewhat bored with your “Stats” as they mean jack and shit to most of us parents. I know my kids will do well and that is all I need to know. As for you, I wish you well. Continue on your Troll journey. I think you are a very sad individual that has nothing better with their time but to come on sites about autism and start shit. But we each have our vices. Have a good one 🙂

  • February 11, 2013 at 11:45 am

    @Andrea Scott-Thomason@facebook – YOU show me YOUR PhD since you think you know so much. The numbers I’m “spouting off” come from those who DO have PhDs and are much more educated on the topic than I am. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this: Note where it says “Only 15% of autistic hold down a full time job.” Note it says nothing about what kind of job it is, but if it did you would see that of those who do most of them work scrub minimum wage jobs. Look at some of the other notable ones: “Around two thirds of adults with autism do not receive enough support for their needs.” “More than 50% of autistic
    adults are unemployed AND have no access no social security benefits; some of these adults have been in this position for at least 10 years.”

    See, I’m not just making this up. What I am saying is backed by research. If you would rather try to pain a rosy picture and think that life for these people isn’t all that bad instead of looking at the demonstrated facts then you’re just deluding yourself.

    Check and mate. Let’s see you bench press your way out of this one.

  • February 11, 2013 at 11:39 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – Ok sorry.. But have you personally met any of the children you deem won’t amount to much? You can throw stats at me all you want to. Until you have met anyone who has disagreed with you children, I think you really need to stop talking. To sit there just sprout off numbers without knowing any of us is judgmental. And really not fair. I don’t know you from Susan down the street and I don’t judge you on your life. So again I ask, Who are you do say that our children won’t amount to much? May I see your PHd?As of right now you are nothing but a troll. And its people like you, with your “stats” and negativity that make us as parents work even hard to make sure all of our children prosper. Sorry I don’t see my kids as failures. I see them as inspirations. Why? Because they are fighters. They have to fight ignorance and people that have the same opinions like yourself. They can anyone they want to be. That is what having an open mind about things does 🙂

  • February 11, 2013 at 10:52 am

    @Jonsmom01 – Thank you for that kinda-sorta defense. I’m definitely placed on the higher-functioning end of the spectrum and I *STILL* can’t really do much of anything. About all I can do is make woodwind reeds (primarily bagpipe chanter and drone reeds, but I’m venturing into the world of other woodwind reeds too) but that doesn’t really pay the bills. I’ve had three unsuccessful careers prior to this (all lasting less than 2 years before I was told to find another career). Gee, anyone else, neurotypical or not, would just give up if that happened to them.

    As it is, I’ve come to realize the fact I am in fact disabled and will be for the rest of my (hopefully short) life. I do what I can but as I said, it’s just not enough to pay the bills and the country I live in has no such thing as SSDI or any sort of equivalent. I’m screwed one way or another. My reality is the norm, not the exception.

  • February 11, 2013 at 10:43 am

    @myausomeson – Again, statistics are statistics for a reason and they don’t lie. Maybe your son will be the 20%. If so, great. But don’t count on it and you CAN’T count on it. I don’t care what kind of emotional appeal you put in. You see, what you spew is, in the more general sense, the BS David Benatar talked about in his book Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence (note: the title is absolute truth and applies to EVERYONE, not just autistic people, but it’s just that much more true for autistic people or people with disabilities in general). You are downplaying, like every other parent (autistic or not, I should add) the pain and suffering that awaits your child.

    @Andrea Scott-Thomason@facebook – Again, statistics. I’m going to bet my money on researched, statistical odds rather than emotional appeal. Emotional appeal has no value. Statistics do. The fact of the matter is that statistical research methods have shown time and time again that 80%+ of people on the autism spectrum will never be able to do any sort of meaningful work.

  • February 11, 2013 at 9:50 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga –  I am sorry but who are you to say that someone Else’s child isn’t going
    to amount to much? Unless you live that person’s life, I don’t think
    you have any reason to pass judgement. I think you are sorely misguided
    and very ignorant. I think you really need to open your mind before you
    open your mouth. I find you a little trollish to sit there and make comments about other’s children like you know them personally.

  • February 11, 2013 at 9:35 am

    I get the Harry Potter reference/comparison.  I too loved reading the books and loved the
    characters.  I am happy for you and other
    parents of ASD kids if they can read or enjoy being read to the Harry Potter
    books and relate to them.  I am happy for
    you and other parents that your ASD kids have bright futures.  But for many of us, but apparently far fewer
    than those families with bright futures, there is no future beyond the
    possibility that our loved ones might
    be able to continue to live with family instead of being put in an
    institution.  The possibility is
    practically nonexistent that our loved ones would be able to even comprehend
    stories like Harry Potter much less go to college, hold a paying job, or
    contribute anything to society.  In my
    world, if I want to use Harry Potter as a reference, autism is
    Voldemort.  With an evil smile and a
    flick of his wand he took everything away from my son.  My son is like Nevil’s parents, stuck in
    Saint Mungo’s, the magical hospital, forever because Voldemort’s followers
    tortured them with magical curses.  Despite
    their magic, the healers there have no
    for Nevil’s parents.  Or my
    son is more like the muggles, not comprehending the magical world of
    neurotypical  “normal” people.  He is truly in a lost world by himself.  He cannot communicate, beyond using limited
    sign language or prompted use of an ipad app, he is self-injurious, he will
    likely never read for pleasure, doesn’t play at all, has a high frequency of
    self-stimulatory behavior, can be aggressive, sometimes plays with his feces,
    at 11 yrs of age is not really independent with any self-help skills and this
    is not for a lack in trying to teach him these things.   We love him and we will never give up on him
    BUT we have to be realistic and we have to plan for his future such as it is.  I think that the person that took such an objection to your
    post is reacting to the very real problem of those on the higher functioning
    end of the spectrum not understanding or refusing to acknowledge life on the
    lower end of the spectrum.  I did not read your original post and I am not really accusing you of this attitude but it happens far too often.  Acknowledgement of severe autism might mean a
    far less rosy picture or future and is definitely not good press.  Those of us on the lower end try to understand
    those high functioning families.  We try to be
    happy for you when you tell stories of accomplishments and ways your child has
    beaten autism, but when those parents say things that show their lack of
    understanding of our lives and they act like their lives are what autism is, instead of what autism is like for their family only, they
    hurt us and make us feel like second class citizens even within the autism
    community, the people that has the best chance of understanding what our lives
    are like.  I understand that it is not really anyone’s fault that the powers that be made autism such a wide sprectrum but please try to understand us
    and we will try to understand families like yours and we will try not to be
    jealous and hateful as we are hurting because our kids don’t get to enjoy the
    world and have the bright future that yours do.      

  • February 11, 2013 at 9:15 am

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – I am sorry, you seriously have some issues. When I discussing this with my husband, my son over heard. His reply…..”Momma, I will be something when I grow up! What is wrong with that person?” Hard to explain someone like you to my son. I am sorry you are so hateful and miserable. Maybe if you put as much effort into your life as you put into hating your mother, the world, and others with autism, maybe, JUST maybe, you would make something out of yourself….. Have a great day…..

  • February 10, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    What’s wrong with Slytherin? 
    In all seriousness, I wouldn’t let the haters get you down. I’m sure your son does have a bright future ahead of him. 🙂

  • February 10, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    @myausomeson – Feel free to keep deluding yourself and your son, but in the 4/5 statistical chance I’m right (statistics are statistics for a reason), well, I’d hate to be you because your son is going to hate your guts (just like I hate my mother). Good for those who are in the 20% and whatever, but it’s not fair to get someone’s hopes up that they’ll be that 20% when there’s an 80% chance he won’t be. I know it’s a hard truth, but quite frankly it’s better to be realistic than idealistic.

    I say what needs to be said, whether it’s nice or not. This “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything” is a load of first-class BULLSHIT. People have gotten way too damn sensitive and it’s time for a reality check. I don’t care whose feelings I hurt or who I offend. Don’t like what I have to say (even though in this case it is a painful truth) too damn bad.

  • February 10, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    @secretbeerreporter@xanga – I am sorry but my son does have a bright future, and I refuse to let him think otherwise. What is the good in living such a negative life???? My son has made great strides with hard work and perseverance and I refuse to let ANYONE say he will never be anything. You will only become something with hard work and determination, and my son is really good at that! My son IS extraordinary and wonderful. You don’t know him, and you have NO place to say he isn’t…..I was raised that if I had nothing nice to say, don’t say it…maybe you could benefit from that lesson as well……I KNOW adults with Autism, that have great lives, careers, relationships……just because that isn’t you’re life (and I am sorry it isn’t) doesn’t mean everyone with autism has no future. that’s profiling, and it’s terribly sad…..

  • February 10, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    Be offended if you want by those terms, but it’s the truth. Sorry, but if it’s one thing I’ve learned having autism myself, I’ll NEVER, and I mean NEVER be anything but what I am: disabled. No matter how much I try to sugarcoat it, how much I’ve tried to make something of myself, whatever, I know it’s just not possible and I’m tired of other people sugarcoating it. The reality is that your kid is disabled and there’s an 80%+ chance he/she will never be able to do any sort of meaningful work. So yes, it only makes sense for those terms to have negative connotations.

    There’s nothing extraordinary or “wonderful” about your kids. Get over it. I’m tired of you autism parents going on about how great your kids are and what a bright future they have and blah blah blah because it’s all a lie.

  • February 10, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    I LOVE it! We too use Muggle bc my son calls Autism his “super power” and that’s how we like to think of it. I think the way you describe it sums it up perfectly!

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