Scene: Waiting at big sister’s school for her dismissal bell. On the low wall, outside the office (because that’s the coolest place to wait on this hot afternoon; James melts in the heat, in more ways than one).
James: “I go sit in the office.”
Me: “No, we need to stay out here.”
James: “Nooooo! I wanna sit on na bench!” (which is inside the office)
Me: “Honey, they’re busy right now in the office. Stay here with me outside.”
James: “Arrrrrrrrrr!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! You Shush!”
Me: “Want to sit on my lap?”
James: “Yes, up dere;” climbs on my lap.
15 seconds later “I wanna go in DERE!” Points to office and screeches.
Lady near us on the wall “Tchah!” and The Look.
Me (mentally rolling my eyes, because life is short and then we all die): “Hey, Buddy — let’s go sit on the benches over THERE.” (partial shade under trees, 15 feet away)
James: “Okay, Mommy.”
Some days I don’t even want to go there. Maybe I’ll start wearing my Autism Speaks t-shirt to all my pickup waits. What. Ever.
(Bonus points if you get this reference: “Looketh at my face — Is this a bovvered face thou see before thee?”)