[Warning this post may offend others to read at own discretion]
I’ve been debating for days on whether to post this or not, and I know it will offend people which it is not intended to do. But when I started this blog I swore I would be honest and show all sides of Aspergers, no holds barred. I believe I have done up until now.
I asked Dannie if it was ok in her mind to write this one and she is quite happy and oblivious to any harm from it. So here it goes…
I suppose to me one of the hardest things to deal with when dealing with Aspergers is the constant innocent comments that offend others and gets blurted out at the most inconvenient times. I have had many ‘Encounters’ – shall we say – with others over Dannie’s innocently said but brutal comments about others.
It’s a hard subject to talk freely about because parents and others are so embarrassed by their child’s comments that they would rather forget them and I don’t know maybe pretend it was never said. It certainly isn’t discussed freely. Sorry, I’m babbling, back to the point. Well, those of you who have Aspergers in the family will be aware of words, sayings, and songs which get repeated over and over sometimes for months until the next word or phrase comes along. Well at the moment Dannie’s song choice which she is repeating over and over is a few lines from the song banana boat, you know the one, Day-O, Day-O, Daylight come and we wanna go home. Nothing wrong with that I hear you say, WRONG, as we all have done at some point or other Dannie has got the words wrong and when she sings the next verse she sings, wait for it, I apologize in advance, Come, Mr. Taliban, Tally your Bananas. As you can imagine such a thing being sung outside, at full pelt, would and does NOT go down well.
I have had to ban Dannie from singing it and she really doesn’t understand why. Even banning her from singing it is hard to keep up as it just blurts out, out of the blue and she said she can’t help it as the song is stuck in her head. She got so upset I had to try and explain. The best way I found to explain it was that it was like sneezing, you can’t stop it from happening it just happens, and sometimes due to the Aspergers, I explained that sometimes she verbally sneezes, but the verbal words can offend others, another example would be when a friend asked her does her bum look big in an outfit, Dannie’s answer was ” Depends, if you are comparing it to a rhino then no.” needless to say they fell out. That judgment we have that stops us from saying what we think.
Asperger’s people have a lack, but why should we judge them for saying what we all think but are too polite or afraid to say? Should we really be scolding our kids for being honest and saying exactly what they see? I’m in two minds, but I have asked Dannie that if she feels she is about to verbally sneeze her song, she has to cover her mouth and try her best to refrain. Not because I take offense of her innocent song choice, but purely for the sake of others, is that truly fair?