Today has been one of those days that I’m reminded just how challenging life really is. Sometimes I think I’m just so acclimated to the stress and chaos that it seems normal.
It takes a day like today for me to realize just how stressed out in really am.
Nothing went right today. From the moment I woke up, everything just went wrong.
Emmett has been in rare form..all day long. It’s like his sole purpose is to destroy everything. He’s literally throwing anything he can get his hands on. He’s bullying Elliott and Gavin both.
….and the screaming, oh God the screaming. I just can’t even begin to tell you…..
Lizze is in week 5 of her migraine and absolutely miserable. She’s not in the best of moods, which is completely understandable but that moods spreads.
Gavin..I don’t even know where to begin. He is struggling, especially with things like listening, remembering, following the rules ect, ect. I’m totally aware of the fact that this is not his fault and so I don’t blame him. With that said, it doesn’t makenit any less irritating,exhausting, frustrating, overwhelming and demoralizing… What it does do however, is make me feel guilty for all those feelings.
The antidepressant is simply not enough to help me manage all of this. My ability to cope diminishing rapidly. I feel sick to my stomach, my chest hurts and my anxiety level is through the roof. I think I’m having a panic attack, although truthfully, it’s been years since I had one of those, so I’m not sure.
I’m so ready to catch a break and find some relief.