They Don’t Know Me
I am tired to trying to live up or down to be the certain kind of person that some people have decided I am. Certain people who think their way is always right, and no one else can ever have a thought that even resembles truth unless it is fully in compliance with what they think – think I am a certain way. The problem with that is, the “Way I am” changes, almost daily, in their opinion, and trying to keep up with it and keep it straight is harder than trying to keep up with the Jones’.
While there may be some truth to what they think, it isn’t always how they see it as. Life isn’t always according to their opinion, or views. Just because their opinions ring true to them – does NOT make it truth. For everyone around. Just because they see things (or people) a certain way, does not mean that’s how it is, all the time, and for them to be so stuck in this idea – is not only disgusting, but absolutely impossible to keep up with.
The time comes when for whatever the reason – I am not the way they say I am, and there is an explosion.
They have to be right, and since they are not, they feel the need to make me be the way they think I am. The person they see me as, and since I am not 100% compliant with these opinions, I am somehow, wrong. All the time.
I am simply tired.
Tired of trying to live up to their standards. Trying to live down to their opinions. Trying to be who they think I am, while trying to figure out who I really am, and be the best I really can be…
Its difficult.
And sometimes, I don’t even know who I really am. If Im not this person they think I am, and Im not who I think I am, and if who I think I am, and who they think I am, and who the person across the street thinks I am – don’t agree – then WHO am I?
I know I am guilty of it too – placing an opinion of mine on someone, and being utterly SHOCKED when they happen to be different than I assumed they were.
I don’t know why, I guess people like other people to be in neat little boxes, living up or down to their expectations, constantly making themselves feel better, and always making themselves out to be more than they really are. But if somehow, one of these people dont comply with their wishes, demands, and general outlook on life – then they are in the wrong.
I have lived the majority of my life, believing that everything I did was wrong. Wondering why I bothered, when it was all wrong anyways, and not really caring to please anyone – because it would only be wrong, to someone, anyways.
Im tired of trying to be someone else for everyone. Its impossible, because sooner or later, I will be forced to be two people at the same time – and I cant. I can barely be the one person I am.
Im sorry I cant live to their expectations. Im sorry I wont meet them. I wont be able to live up or down to the standards of who people think I am. Or am not.
I am who I am, even though at times Im not even sure who that is. But Im not, nor ever will be, the person they expect me to be. Take me for who I am, and you wont be let down. Try to make me live up or down to what or who you want me to be, and you will be greatly disappointed.
Im not sure who I am, and Im pretty sure I cant be what they want me to be. So to them I ask, please stop trying to make me be someone Im not. I cant do it anymore. Because while I don’t know who I am, I am not who you think I am, or who you think I will be.
I am me, just me. And that’s about it.
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I totally understand this. I’m often dealing with it. How much of me do people need to see to understand that I am probably a heck of a lot more complex than they realize? I have had to remind myself that I am not responsible for how people respond to me, as long as I am true to my own self. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem. Not to say I need to be purposefully rude, or purposefully flaunt things that people might find offensive… but I have had to discover that I am allowed to think and feel and believe whatever I want. It is MY prerogative as to whether or not I voice those things, no one has the right to dictate that to me. I can speak up or keep my mouth shut and THAT is my choice. If I choose to speak up, then I must deal with the consequences (pleasant or unpleasant) of having spoken up. If I choose to keep silent, the same holds true.
I think I’ve had a very similar experience.
It’s hard to put into words what I feel about this topic and where I stand now.
You are not responsible for people’s expectations or ideas. As a sign of respect to yourself– never be sorry for being you, even if you think other people have different opinions about what you should be like or how you should do things…
This was very powerful to me… I agree with p0pc0rn03, too. <3 Best possible wishes.
we always be unhappy ,because nobody can understand us,it’s very common,not just you but most people .people always think they know you,but they almost wrong.
I feel like saying the same thing sometimes. Just be you. Find out the you that you want to be…not for anyone else but for you. And most of all, Do what makes YOU happy =)