Tell me I’m worth it

I hate to admit this, but I carry around a quite a bit of guilt. All the time.

I know it’s not really necessary, because I can’t help the way I am, but the thing is that I know I’m more difficult than the average girl. I know I require more from those who love me. That I take more patience. That I’m flat out harder to love.

Once I asked Mom if she wouldn’t rather have a second regular girl than me, and she said some to the effect of, “NO WAY!” She wants me, and no one else.

But there’s something I desperately want to hear from those closest to me. I know that by putting this out there, they might now tell me exactly what I want to hear. But because I told them I want to hear it, it sort of takes away the meaning, doesn’t it? Oh, well. I’ve thought about it, and I’m just going to put it put there anyway.

I want to hear, “You’re worth it.” Yes, you’re more difficult at times, but you’re also kinder, more genuine, and more innocent, more something. Maybe it’s not true. Or maybe it’s supposed to be obvious and I should already know it. The thing is, I don’t know. But I do wish.

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Lydia
I'm 23. I love Jesus, my service cat, and my mom. I have usually-high-functioning autism, though it depends on the day. I'm trying to figure out how I can live the life I've dreamed of with autism in it.
Lydia

Lydia

I'm 23. I love Jesus, my service cat, and my mom. I have usually-high-functioning autism, though it depends on the day. I'm trying to figure out how I can live the life I've dreamed of with autism in it.

0 thoughts on “Tell me I’m worth it

  • August 5, 2010 at 9:45 am
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    I think you’re worth it!

    The thing I’ve come to realize is that action without words/ (or) /words without action is kind of lukewarm. We all want to be loved. And the most amazing, mind-blowing thing is that GOD already has and does and will love us for who we are. Every single day, He tells us we’re worth it. He wouldn’t think twice about loving us, even if we’re a little (or a lot) difficult. 
    P.S Use your un-averageness to your advantage. There are too many average, cookie-cutter girls out there. Hope you have an amazing day!

    Reply
  • August 5, 2010 at 9:29 am
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    I feel the same way! I’m so glad you posted this–it really made me smile. I was afraid that saying that would make me feel selfish or something in some way, but it hasn’t. Thank you <3

    Reply
  • August 5, 2010 at 3:17 am
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    never think less of what you think you are.  you are worth it, you are a living being who has something beautiful to offer to the world.  i may sound like i’m just spritzing out words, but i honestly believe every individual regardless of whatever mishaps, insecurities, or whatever they have has something amazing to give that reaches across the people around you.  i really believed i wasn’t worth the time for anyone with the circumstances i live day by day, but then i really asked myself how can i live when i myself am unsure if i am capable of it?  never let yourself or anyone else say you’re not worth it because it’s a lie and you are. 

    Reply
  • August 4, 2010 at 11:48 pm
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    I think that we’re all difficult in some ways and the majority of us are actually worth it. I don’t actually know you, but this isn’t the first post I’ve read by you. I believe you’re worth it.

    Reply
  • August 4, 2010 at 9:35 pm
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    I know how you feel. I’m difficult too in a lot of ways, but I also have a lot of great qualities and a good heart. I want those people around me to tell me I’m worth it, too.

    Reply
  • August 4, 2010 at 9:54 am
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    It does tend to be that the things you work harder for, ARE worth it. The best people take time to know, The better things you can buy, take more money. The better books are longer, intricate, sometimes hard to understand at first, but you never regret reading them!  The best relationships actually start out rocky, and you pave your future sooner and smoother too…Those rocky roads have the best views. I, am not afraid of having “difficulties” in any kind of relationship, so long as the other person works with you and does their best to work through it.

    Reply
  • August 4, 2010 at 1:03 am
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    I don’t know you, but this post and you’re “About Me” makes me think that you would probably be a very delightful and interesting person to get to know.

    And I’m guessing that you’re probably totally worth it as well.  🙂

    Reply
  • August 3, 2010 at 5:13 pm
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    i read ur post and only one girl was on my mind i can think of thats worth sayin “ur worth it” to.

    Reply
  • July 31, 2010 at 9:53 am
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    Just wanted to give you props for saying what I would often like to say.

    Thanks

    Reply
  • July 30, 2010 at 4:13 am
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    You seem really nice.  And at your level, you’re just “different.”  Nothing wrong with that.  I am positive you are worth it.  =)

    Reply
  • July 29, 2010 at 6:25 pm
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    You’re definitely worth it! I have two children on the spectrum and they’re worth it too! 

    Reply

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