Grownup Child

Especially since I’ve been working, I’ve been growing the wrong way. You see, Mom wants me to grow up into an adult. But instead, I seem to be growing down into more of a child.

I’m hoping my neuro-psych tests on Wednesday will prove that this is happening.

I can tell that my mama struggles with this. The problem is that the things that make me truly happy aren’t adult things. Sometimes she gives in. For example, at the mall last weekend she got me a new Mickey Mouse t-shirt that I’ve only taken off long enough to watch. She always has said, “Mickey is for kids,” but she knew how happy it would make me (and it did!) and bought it for me. (Don’t worry, it was on sale.)

I’ve had the desperate urge to get my American Girl dolls back out and play with them, and she’s letting me do that. I never really play played with dolls, just dressed them and undressed them and dressed them again. Oh, and put them to bed. I love to put them to bed.

I do puzzles, color pictures, and watch kids’ shows on TV.

I have a secret, very childlike urge, that I can’t even admit to. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m 22. 22.

Grow up, already.

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I'm 23. I love Jesus, my service cat, and my mom. I have usually-high-functioning autism, though it depends on the day. I'm trying to figure out how I can live the life I've dreamed of with autism in it.


I'm 23. I love Jesus, my service cat, and my mom. I have usually-high-functioning autism, though it depends on the day. I'm trying to figure out how I can live the life I've dreamed of with autism in it.

0 thoughts on “Grownup Child

  • June 19, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Any time I get stressed out I pull out a coloring book and go to town. I follow a paper doll blog and look for paper dolls any time I can. I research Disney stuff and for our New Years party all of my girlfriends and I dressed up like Disney Princesses. (The boyfriends dressed up as our princes just to shut us up and avoid pain from not participating.) Only time still being a kid when you grow up is bad, is when people can’t take you seriously when it is needed. In other words I will be childlike and kidish at home or with my boyfriend, but when its time for work or important school stuff, I make sure people realize I am an adult and deserve to be where I am. (This is simply important for me because some parents don’t want to believe a 19 and 20 year old are in charge of their 6-7 year old daughter at camp for a week.)

    Childults forever!

  • June 18, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    There’s nothing wrong with reverting back to when everything was simple and you loved life.. b/c you were alive with no adult decisions to make.

    I try to preserve some part of it (my innocence) by being the dork I am. Life isn’t meant to be taken so seriously. It’s sad enough most of the time.

  • June 18, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Calm down your not growing down. Check out my page lol and Im 26 nd work fro the walt disney company. this isnt autism at all. Be you no one can take that away from you. you have to be an adult a lot but enjoy the things that make you you. I like superheroes too. ive gone to every midnight showing of Pixar and again im 26. dont blame this on autism ok!? 😀

  • June 15, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    I had a plastic sword hanging on my wall until I was married and moved out of my parents’ house. 🙂 And I’m a GIRL. (Woman, whatever…) Now I have several display swords and one real one. I still have a stuffed camel that I got when I was eight. I don’t sleep with it anymore though. My husband gave me a “Heart to Heart” bear, holding an engagement ring when he proposed… I was more interested in the bear than the ring. 🙂 I was 19 years old. I have a Tigger that bounces… I got him for my 21st Birthday. I have an Eeyore toy that sings and makes me laugh every time. I got him for Christmas when I was 23. I am currently wearing PJs with Winne the Pooh and Piglet on them. I am 32.

    John and I have three children… you think I let them play with my toys? LOL Sure, they now have my Lego, Erector, K’Nex, and Tinkertoys sets. They also have tons of plastic swords and costume pieces… and I’ve been known to show up at various places wearing a cloak or a pirate jacket. 🙂

    You don’t have to grow up per se. You do need to learn responsibility for yourself and your actions, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up all the things you like to do or play with. You do need to come to grips with some measure of reality and the consequences of actions, but that has nothing to do with the things you like to do… unless of course, you’re spending all your time playing and none of it doing the things that need to get done. I’m just now learning how good it feels to have a clean room and keep it that way. I’d never paid much attention to it before. Stuff like that you’d think we’d learn as kids, but some of us don’t.

  • June 13, 2010 at 11:20 am

    This article made me smile because yesterday I told my (neurotypical) teenage son that it was time he packed up all the soft toys, dress up and swords and sent them to the animal shelter. I said he was too old to dress up and swish plastic swords in the air, he is in college after all. He said it was cosplay and everyone did it.   Ok, for kids its dress-up, for grown-ups its cosplay!  (And he says he always has a soft toy on the bed at night for the cats to cuddle up to. Ok. right, the cats.)

    There are a huge number of people, not all women, ‘playing’ with Barbies, Ken dolls and the little sister Skipper, there are even competitions and pageants for the best-dressed, prettiest or most photogenic or best-posed in a ‘real-life’ setting. So carry on, you’re one of many adults all enjoying playing with their dolls. 
    Try Googling ‘Adults playing with Barbie dolls’ – check out the fourth and fifth links.

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