Sometimes It’s just hard to breath

Most of you know the feeling, the weight on your chest, the restlessness in your body. That feeling that you just want to be anywhere but here. The feeling that your life is somehow being sucked away from you into a vortex of inability and disappointment. It will fade sooner or later. I have learned that much. This feeling doesn’t stay forever, it just feels like it will.
This, restlessness…
It consumes me more often than not

It could be because I am not doing what God wants me to. It could be because I am and somehow I should be learning from this. It could simply be that my brain is broken beyond repair. It could be this time , this feeling doesn’t go away.

I just can’t breathe and honestly I am just so tired. I am tired of trying to smile when I feel nothing. I don’t even really feel sad anymore. Just broken and restless.

I feel like a failure. It’s as if I just can’t put the puzzle together even with the pieces numbered and placed in front of me.

I just want to be anywhere but here. I want to be far away from whatever this is supposed to be.
Most of all, I want to feel something.

Annemarie Chagnon

You Leave Me Breadless

We are currently a family of 7 (yes 7 really) My husband and I have 5 children on earth and one precious baby in heaven. We are Catholic and we are Quiverful. We live in a small town in Southern Massachusetts. We try to live as simply as possible. We are a family of special needs people and we work every day to make this house work