Gathering Clues and Autism
When meeting Brandon, I often need to find the missing clues and last night was no different. During my dinner with Brandon, he said he didn’t feel well. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, “My back hurts, it feels tight and my whole body hurts.” He then said, “ I tried calling Gina, (his B.E.S.T. practitioner*) this morning and left her a message, but she said she was too busy to see me.”
I asked him, how could that be? “You see Gina 2-3 times a week and you have been doing that for more than three years now. That doesn’t sound like anything she would do. I am really surprised.”
We moved onto another subject, but within minutes, Brandon was back complaining about feeling bad and wished how he could have seen Gina. His left hand had begun to thump on the table in a rhythmic manner. His entire left side was out of his control and I hadn’t seen that happen to Brandon in years. Yet, at the same time, Brandon’s speech, and what he was trying to convey seemed clear, even more so than usual.
I had a treatment with Gina yesterday before I saw Brandon, and I would have been happy to give my appointment to Brandon. All along, I felt there was something missing in his story.
We finished eating, and as we were walking to the car, Brandon said Gina never called me back. I said I thought you told me she didn’t have any time for you. Well she didn’t, because she never called me. Brandon assumed that by not getting a call back from Gina, she didn’t want to see him, and she had no time for him. I told Brandon that sometimes people don’t get our calls, and that is why we have to call back, especially when we don’t feel well and we need help.
Brandon looked at me and said, “Oh, I didn’t know that.” It was true for that day, he didn’t know to call back, but he usually does call Gina back if she doesn’t call right away. Just because Brandon can do something one day it doesn’t mean that he will be able to repeat it. That is why many people get upset with Brandon.
Next week, Brandon will be thirty-seven and he still needs a lot of guidance, and it is extremely important that I deliver it through kindness. However, when we get together, there always seems to be at least one life lesson he needs help with. I am happy to help him any way I can.
By Brandon living independently for the past twelve years, he is forced to learn life as he lives it.
Brandon gives it his all, and you can’t ask for any more than that.
B.E.S.T. Technique http://www.morter.com/
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Rory, thank you so much. As always, this piece of information is extremely helpful. @Springingtiger
I think that even though we know to do something in one set of circumstances, when the same action would be appropriate if the circumstances are not exactly the same we may not do it because it appears to be a new situation. I find a lot of my responses are context dependent and I frequently fail to project them to a new situation.