No Co-Sleeping at my house

Co-sleeping, shared sleep, birth control. I don’t care what you call it. Kids in your bed. Some of us would rather have bed bugs while some of us can’t imagine life without snuggling the cuties while we sleep. You know why? Because when they are asleep, they are NOT whining, fighting, or demanding attention. You can just watch them and think, “ahhhh I love parenthood” before the phone rings and someone else tells you something atrocious one of them did.

We still have a double bed from the grad school years. I can’t get rid of it. My friends who seem to prefer to sleep with everyone together have mac daddy king size beds. That is one upgrade I am going to put off a little longer. If the bed were bigger then they would see that as an invitation to join us. Nope.

I have been really slack since March. I have had too much going on during the day to fight what happens at night. The only time I have freaked about it was when I woke up and one of them was in bed with us without me realizing it. How could I possibly have been so tired I didn’t notice when another human being not only came into my room but crawled into bed next to me? Motherhood will do it to you. So we were sleeping at night with sometimes three other people in the room with us. Everyone went to sleep in their own room, but made their way into ours. Then I snapped.

About two weeks ago, the older two decided to have an all night party in our room. It was a school night. There was no reason that they would be afraid or anxious and not be able to sleep. I tightened the reins and they are both in their own beds now. If they want to get in with us, the sun needs to be up.

These are the reasons we DON’T co-sleep:

My son sleeps all different ways: his legs are one way and his arms are every which away. He kicks, he squirms. He takes over.

My daughter drags all her stuffed animals into our room and lines them up at the foot of the bed. Like we have an audience. I don’t want random animals staring at me while I sleep.

Somebody snores-any of us on any give night. Then everyone wakes up and says there is a monster in the bed. Then they fight over who did it and no one can get back to sleep.

There is the fear someone is going to wet the bed. They don’t but they will and it will be our bed and not their own. I wonder, if I was too tired to notice someone climbed in, would I wake up if it was wet or would I dream I was on a tropical island being sprayed by a warm sea mist?

Snacks and crumbs in the bed. We are not a “Breakfast in bed” kind of family. We are a “Eat your breakfast over the sink to avoid crumbs” kind of family.

Enough said.

These were my exceptions: first three months of life-I started to transition to a crib and their own room between three and four months. No one was a colicky baby. No one had any eating issues. No one screamed uncontrollably ever. We were good to go.

Illness is also a reason I would let them sleep with us, except throw up because you can puke in your own bed. Oh-and if one of them brings home head lice they aren’t getting in my bed either. (Apologies to childless friends reading this.)

I know there is research. I totally believe in all kinds of research. This is my family list and in no way research. Moreover, my children are older and sneakier. So please, do what works for you as a family and laugh, roll your eyes, or skip my blog if you need to do so. It won’t hurt my feelings.

Have fun co-sleeping families. You might rock, but I’m sleeping like one.
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Page Pelphrey

The Mommy Quack

I have three children: an autistic daughter and two very active little boys. Very rarely does autism affect a little girl, and I have yet to read a blog that matches my life and routine. I was a working mom until last year, when I began to work from home. I can't seem to do anything the way another SAHM would do it. I try to change a diaper and I hear a crash in the living room. I try to read a bedtime story and they want to know why the peddler didn't wake up when the monkeys stole his caps. I clean the bathroom in time for my semi-potty trained son to need it again. I somehow manage to make it to preschool, therapy, and the library with all three children but forget to buy milk. I love to write about my life, but I am a big Quack of a SAHM.