Spare your child.

I am three years older than my autistic brother. I love him very dearly, but he has cost me many cherished things in life. While growing up with someone who cannot communicate with you can be a huge plus (personal slave) it can also suck horribly. When I was younger, people saw me and they saw my brother. he was with me wherever I went. If not physically then mentally in the minds of the children I attended school with. Thanks to my little brother I was a weird kid. I say thanks to him because I wasn't really weird. I was very typical of a young girl growing up in suburban Texas. I played every sport offered. I danced. I spent time with my friends at the town square. I watched Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, MTV. I did everything a normal child would do. The only issue was my amazing little brother. The worst instance I can remember was last homecoming. In Texas, Homecoming is a huge ordeal. The boys bestow upon girls what are called mums. They are really plastic chrysanthemums stapled on cardboard with a bunch of flowy ribbons. The girls give the boys 'garters' which is exactly the same thing, just much much smaller and the boys wear it on their bicep. Well, when my boyfriend came to the front door with my mum in hand, my brother took it from him and ripped it to shreds. My brother loves to rip things apart. It is one of his stems. I told my boyfriend it was okay and that I would put it back together after the game. Thank goodness my amazing boyfriend did not freak out. I wore my mum from Freshman year. We had a very fun time at the football game.  Yes, my brother is a huge blessing in my life. He has taught me patience and how to love unconditionally. Honestly, without him I do not think I would be able to love anyone. I do not know if Christopher's autism has made me this way, or if I was just born this way. My mother says I didn't have a bad attitude until a was around five or six years old. She tells me I was freakishly smart, and that is how she knew there was something seriously wrong with Chris when he was not talking at 18 mos. My friends tell me I'm smart and I know I am. They say things like "At least you're not the weird one in the family." But little do they know that I am. I'm the weird one who makes straight A's, and hits home runs, and wins Drama Awards, and gets elected for Youth and Government. That's weird. If you're a mother of an autistic child and you're reading this, don't have any more kids. Just don't. Don't do that to your child. I know some parents think, 'I just want a normal one.' I would absolutely think that way myself if I was put in that position. But if you have another child, you're taking on a liability. To be a sister of a brother with autism is not fun. It is not fun to walk down a street and have my friends make fun of a loser, I secretly know he has asbergers and cannot help it. I would much rather just think the kid is a loser.and keep walking. It wasn't cool being ten-years-old and being yelled at while at Carlsbad Cavern because my brother was laying on the floor in the middle of exhibit. Chris was laughing his little butt off, and the lady just thought he was mocking her. He was just excited to see the big hole. Moms, if you're reading this spare your child from what my sister and I went through. I understand being a mother to an Autistic child must be devastating. Think of things brother and sister always do together, though. I can't go to his baseball games. I can't add him on Facebook. We can't bash our parents together. We can't team up against our little sister. I won't be a bridesmaid in his wedding. I love my brother to death.. I do wish he wasn't Autistic. Every day I wish that. I want a brother, not a Christopher. It is very selfish and I know that. I don't deserve this.Christopher doesn't deserve his autism. When I adopt (Can't have kids) my children they would know that I will be doing more than the best I can for them. I know my mom did that for me, but my children deserve better than what I have. Way better than what I have. I do not wish autism on anybody. No one deserves this. But I wouldn't change my brother. He's perfect.