If I had Autism...

As I see parents writing articles on what Autism is, or how to describe it, I wonder how many of those people ever asked themselves what it would be like if they had Autism themselves.

Have you thought about it?

I have.

These are just some of the questions I asked myself:

• Would I see the sounds I hear?
• Would it be beautiful? Would it be painful?

• Would I feel the ridges of my finger prints when I rub my hands together?
• Would I feel anything at all?

• Would people expect me to have special skills?
• Would people expect me to have no skills at all?

• Would I speak the same language as everyone yet still not understand anyone?
• Would I be unable to speak any language but understand everyone perfectly well?

• Would I require constant control over myself and my environment?
• Would I lose control easily?

• Would I really need hugs?
• Would I really not want to be hugged?

• Would I notice the flicker of a fluorescent light?
• Would I not notice the dangers all around me?

• Will I be loved for who I am?
• Will I be hated for who I’m not?

Even though some of these pairs seem like opposites from each other, would I still answer yes to both? Would my answers change from day to day?

Would I be able to explain these things to other people? Would I want to?

Would I be me? Would I be less than me? Would I be more?

There’s so many more questions…. I quickly find myself becoming overwhelmed by it all but strangely, as much as I’ve thought about this a lot, it never really hit me like this until I asked myself…

If I had Autism…