I'd Give Anything To Be Like You

How many times have you heard the line "I would give anything to be as smart as you!"? It's in movies, you're friends have said it. Everyone has said it. You'd give anything to be as smart as me? I'd give anything to be like you!

It isn't fun!? Why people think it's fun to be smart, I don't know.

There is nothing fun about it! If a smart person is not a Doctor, Lawyer, or an Engineer they're waisting their brain. It's true. No?

I can't sleep! I can't sleep because I can calculate exactly how many stitches are in my pillowcase. It's distracting. I don't care if the wind is blowing in A flat! I really don't! It's not cool to listen to someone talk and automatically know how many letters are coming out of their mouth.

I can do these amazing things, but I don't know why. I've been able to do this for as long as I can remember. I hate it. I'm Jason Bourne. I don't know who I am. It's in the title.

I have something everyone wants. Everyone wants something from me. Well, everyone has something I want. Please tell me something I don't already know.