Ask for Help from your Child with Autism

Brandon got out his new phone and looked up on the GPS application to get directions to Dodger Stadium. His face lit up as he was able to retrieve the information and tell me step by step how to get to our destination. Once we arrived he was so proud of himself for accomplishing this task. When we left the game, Brandon was happy to be able carry all my belongings back to the car. He helped me at dinner by opening the restaurant door and being very polite. Being polite and using manners is something he rarely can master. Brandon appeared delighted to help. Finally he had an opportunity to do something for me. Why hadn’t I asked him before so directly. He wanted to make me feel better the same way I have helped him all these years. I saw a new depth into Brandon something I had never seen before. Maybe Brandon just had to know how much I needed him as he needs me. We seemed to be on a leveled playing field for the very first time. Although I am still Mom he is now an equal. He is learning how to help me when I am down just as I have helped him. From now on I will ask Brandon for help and assistance without thinking whether he can or can’t do it. I have been short-changing my son by never including him in my difficult days when I needed help. Now we have more in common. We both have good and bad days and it is okay to feel that way. By showing Brandon and telling him how I feel it gives him permission to be himself and he now knows that everyone’s moods change. One day we can be up and the next day we can be down. Life is always changing. I hope you will ask your special needs child or adult for help and see what happens. You too may be pleasantly surprised.