As single moms, we think that we want someone to comfort us and help with our child and it is so easy to get into relationships that don’t work for you, your child or both. I had been in that type of relationship for a long time but stayed in it because it did work for Billy Ray until recently and because I adored his grandkids and loved the family as a whole.
I was thinking that I wish I had some pearls of advice to young single moms who might be in this type of situation. Telling you to keep your eyes wide open doesn’t work if the view is different than it will be in a year.
When Billy Ray’s Dad died he was determined to have a new Dad. There were some really embarrassing moments. I remember being in our little neighborhood restaurant shortly after Raymond died. We knew most of the people there and everyone loved Billy Ray’s charm. This night was no exception – the minute he opened his mouth the place grew quiet.
He said, “Mommy, Daddy died and I want a new Daddy.” I told him that it doesn’t happen that fast and told him the story about how Raymond and I had prayed for a long time for a child before we were able to adopt him. I told him that he would have to be patient.
A couple of nights later we were in the same restaurant and he loudly announced “Mommy you say be patient for a new Daddy. I waited two weeks and I want a new Daddy tomorrow.” The whole place just roared it was all I could do not to laugh. My secretary put an ad in the singles column shortly thereafter.
We didn’t meet Larry until about a year later. It seemed good for all three of us and his extended family. It wasn’t long until he stopped working and so on the story goes. The best that I can advise is get to know the person for yourself before too much interaction with your child.
I do think there needs to be some introduction early on because if he or she can’t handle being around your child you will be brokenhearted if you introduce your child after you are attached. Hard as it might be to understand this it is a lot better to be alone than with the wrong person.
I didn’t announce the divorce on any of my sites because of the internet stalker that has appeared every now and then. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to advertise BR and I being alone. However, I have always shared with you, my readers, openly in an attempt to make available anything that will help in your journey with your child.
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