I wasn’t going to write this. I have heard it over and over again. Forty, blah blah blah…..
Then I remembered, it isn’t like having a blog about the trials and tribulations of being a mother is that original either.
So, this is what I have to say about today.
Ten years ago, on my 30th birthday:
1) Autism was what won Dustin Hoffman the Oscar.
2) I was perfectly happy in a small town in North Carolina. I had a house in a new subdivision with a pool.
3) I didn’t know the words “Reiki” or “Tough Mudder” or even “Smart Phone”
4) There is no way you could have told me I’d move to the north. I’d only been there once and that was for a high school trip to New York city.
5) I didn’t need Facebook, MySpace, or a blog. Everyone I wanted to talk to was right there in North Carolina.
hmmm, hmmm….to say a lot happened in one decade is a bit of an understatement, isn’t it?
It took longer than it should have for me to finally get this message; you can’t fight whatever God has planned for you. You can try, and he will wait you out. Eventually, God will get tired of waiting for you. He may send an angel to push you. Hell, God may send a demon to get the message to you. But you will get it, you will accept it, and then life is going to rock.
You can start over. There is nothing so horrible that you can’t get up the next day and keep going. I’m not comfortable with “Born Again” language, because we are all born again and again. Just this past year it was time to get off the laptop and go into a high school classroom. Now it’s time to be a middle school mom.
Any time I try to force my will on anything, it ends up being a hot mess. From now on, I’m going to let it just happen.
I’m good at what I’m good at and I need to embrace that. BUT- when I’m NOT good at something, I need to practice. Then I’ll be good at more things.
It isn’t “all about me.” Everything and everybody has their own plan and their own issues and people are going to come and go and come back again. Or maybe not, and that’s ok.
When I think of my 20s and 30s, I’d do it all over again- every single victory, every single epic fail.
I feel like I just finished folding my 1,000th paper crane. I’m healed from anything that happened, and I can’t predict what’s coming my way.
I will always have the Episcopal Church, Harry Potter, and Strong Coffee.
So 40s, welcome. I swear I’ll be a good listener this time. Let’s try not to be so dramatic, K?