Being a Special Needs Mom

A Special Needs mom is on duty 24/7. Moms of Special Needs kids run ragged dealing with all the added responsibilities. They find it almost impossible to maintain balance and harmony in their hectic lives.

There are appointments/meetings with medical professionals, with school staff, with support groups, etc. There is the tremendous cost of professional treatment, of the medications not covered by any plans, or special clothes, food and accessories/tools. Furthermore, if a family has more than one child, there are a lot of childcare costs involved for the other children while the SN child is taken to his appointments or when the parents are off to theirs.

Another problem is how to juggle the demands of a home, a husband, other siblings, the care of their own aging parents, their job and the demands imposed by perhaps the one who needs them the most. Many moms of SN kids feel guilty and overwhelmed because they simply cannot find enough hours in a day to do all that is expected of them and most nights they do not get enough sleep.

Stay at home SN moms who never get a break with routine have feelings of separateness and isolation. Each day there are so many demands on their time and energy that friendships and interaction with other adults have no chance to be nurtured. Special Needs moms live on a lonely planet not even having the time to keep abreast of worldly events, rarely having the chance to read for pleasure nor cultivating a pastime like photography, sewing, pottery… normal things that normal moms take for granted.

Often, when finally out in public, these overburdened moms walk around with a lump in their throats because they feel saddened by or angry about the way people are reacting to their child or to their family as a whole. Feelings of inadequacy abound as it seems ‘the public’ is questioning their parenting skills.

SN moms need support from family, friends, and groups with similar problems. They must learn to delegate tasks so that they get sufficient rest and time to take care of themselves so they can continue to care for the others.

There would be no greater gift to an SN mom than the gift of your time and emotional support: “Go out for a while, do something for yourself I will care for all your kids.” Surely you know someone who would appreciate hearing that from you

What do you find most difficult being a special needs mom?

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