Enjoying the moment

     My little Leyla is three months old today.  Of course, Daddy thought the occasion called for cupcakes.  Even big brother is really coming around.  In an effort to promote interest, I will help Leyla blow her brother kisses and give her a voice to say, “I love Alex.”  Alex will respond with a small smile.  (I have done this with Alex’s action figures and plush toys and he has always gotten a kick out of it)

While pregnant, I just assumed that I would blog more once Leyla was born.  I thought I would give the obligatory developmental updates.  I thought I might share tips I rediscovered. (People around me seem to think that I have never raised a child.  I guess they think Alex took care of himself as an infant)

The thing is, having Leyla has opened my metaphorical eyes.  I had Alex at 21 and my husband and I enjoyed the baby phase but we were always in a hurry to see the next developmental stage.  Alex had no sooner rolled over than we were looking forward to watching him crawl.  Crawling came along and we were looking forward to standing.  It went on and on like that.  Of course, talking never really came and from there things slowed to a snail’s pace but that isn’t what I want to talk about. 

Leyla has already outgrown her newborn and 0-3 month clothes.  In packing them away and rotating her wardrobe, I realized that I am enjoying her moments as they come with little thought to the next big thing she should learn.  I am having fun with her at her pace…not mine.

My mom says it is because I had her at my “advanced maternal age” of 35.  She thinks older moms make more patient moms.  I choked back the urge to tell her she should have waited until she was 60 to have kids.   Maybe it is because I have been raising a child with Autism for the past 14 years.  Maybe my combined life experiences have led me to this blissful place.  It does not matter.  I am just glad I am here. (And that says a lot considering my mental health diagnosis)

I do know this.  I have no urge to log into my blog daily and report what is going on.  I have no desire to spread the word on the latest tip or trick I have learned.  I don’t really care to read the propaganda being pushed by other moms who seem more bent on proving how superior their parenting skills are rather than actually helping other moms.  Sure, I would be happy to share any knowledge I have (along with the disclaimer that all children and families are different and what works for me and my kids may not with others)  with a friend who asked but I feel no urge to just randomly toss out platitudes and “must dos”.

I must go now.  I want to stare at my daughter for a few minutes while she sleeps then I want to run upstairs and tickle my son.

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