The Quest For Diagnosis

Alright. Enough of the goofing off. Winter break is over and it’s time to get back to business. The “business” being the Goofy child and figuring out how in the hell to get him some help. Let’s go over where we’ve been so far…

First was the whole “It can’t be Asperger’s because…” from people people who know exactly what they are talking about so you should listen to them and not even bother with any sort of professional evaluation because they are really smart and already know you’re wasting your time pretending there’s something “wrong” with your kid, just beat his ass, that’ll fix him. A little bit of sarcasm there, sorry. well, no, not really. I’m not. at all. It’s frustrating. but, moving on…

Then came the early results which at the time made sense but as time goes on, just pisses me off. After that were the official results of ADHD-NOS but come back later for a more specific diagnosis (not Asperger’s. because it can’t be Asperger’s because… repeat the chorus in the above paragraph), which would totally qualify him for an IEP under the classification of Other Health Impairment… or so the psychologist said… and the start of a behavioral system which then had to be modified because it wasn’t working.

Then came the harassing of school. Bugging the principal with updates on Goofy, cornering the Mystery Man at Kindergarten Orientation, then came the formal written request for evaluation and resulting promising e-mails, the introduction letter to Goofy’s teacher practically begging for any-frickin-thing to help, a Team meeting that went horribly wrong, more harassing of Goofy’s teacher, freaking out about what was going on with the IEP, a very nice e-mail from the principal (most likely to get me off their asses and calm me down since I was getting a little crazy by this point… or… a long ago point), and then came the mention of Auditory Processing Disorder. Which leads to a whole new level of frustration a little later on. Meanwhile… We have the IEP meeting to see if he even qualifies for evaluation… and he does. but only an audiologist can diagnose Auditory Processing Disorder. and that may be the same post I was not nice at all to his teacher which she read. and called me about. Oh, no, sorry. That would be this one. So then I had to stop and breathe. breathing didn’t help much. It wasn’t too long before I was right back where I started. but at least I wasn’t calling his teacher names this time.

So, where was I? Oh, then came the trying to work with him myself with scissors and directional tracking in reading and all kinds of insane things I was trying to bluff my way through in my desperation to somehow, in any way help this child. and then stumbling my way through the Autism Rating Scales– what the hell is considered “strange” behavior anyway!? Who wrote these ridiculous questions!? and then came the social difficulties and concerns of bullying. …

Followed by… better grab yourself a beer for this one, you’re going to need it, Goofy’s Audiology Appointment. Short story: it. fucking. sucked. Sorry to be crude about it but no other words give a more accurate description. and at the end of the appointment, we get a referral back to the psychologist in paragraph 3 because he’s the best in the area. true story. so… I’m to make an appointment so we can repeat the chorus in paragraph 2 of “It can’t be Asperger’s because…”? Not yet. Not without school evaluations. (he needed a 2nd source of documentation, remember?) So, we go back to the school no closer to an answer than we started out.

I believe we’ve already passed the point where I lost my flippin mind but you can do without that post, there’s enough here to keep you reading for a year already. and we’re not done. but we’re almost to the point so hang in there, buddy! So, we go back to the school and the school says… drum roll … NO IEP. and the school psychologist picks up the chorus from paragraph 2: “It can’t be Asperger’s because…” *sigh* punch line: because it’s ADHD. and I’m all FINE! Fine! OK! I get it! ADHD falls under Other Health Impairment. and they’re all “Nooooo.” and sure the psychologist said he needed accommodations but he didn’t say what accommodations so we’re just going to say he doesn’t need any through the Special School District. And, sure his report says sensory processing is a big effing problem but he’s not SSD so… no. and we get a 504. They said if I can get a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder, he can have Occupational Therapy through his 504.

So, I called the pediatrician to ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician and they say… there are none in the area. You can go back the the psychologist in paragraph 3… Fine, what about a diagnosis of SPD? OT at school says they can’t diagnose, an MD has to diagnose. They say, no. that’s wrong. OT diagnoses. fast forward:  The OT our pediatrician sent us to said they can’t diagnose anything, and goes running to the original psychologist in paragraph 3 who happens to be in the same building who says that’s because SPD isn’t a diagnosis. The psychologist says- get an advocate. Make the school do something.

I call the pediatrician and ask the nurse to have him fix. this. tell me what to do, tell me where to go, look at the report and tell me what is wrong with my freaking child so this can just be over with. The pediatrician says… go see the psychologist from paragraph 3. because the psychologist can diagnose SPD. Yes, you just read that right. and I’m too frustrated and close to tears to argue it.

So, I check out the advocate the psychologist sent us to. and you have to pay for it. Which is something we can’t afford but Big D says we’ll do what we have to do. I’m going to sit on this one. If nothing else works, I’ll think harder.

Goofy’s appointment with the psychologist from paragraph 3 is January 10. Shall we repeat the chorus? It would be so much easier if it could be Asperger’s.
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I cover every aspect of parenting at some point in time, including but not limited to; the awesome privilege of being a mom, teenage parenting, being a grandparent, ADHD, teenage ridiculousness, ADHD, Autism, ADHD, and marriage in the chaos, and all of the wonderful moments in between.


I cover every aspect of parenting at some point in time, including but not limited to; the awesome privilege of being a mom, teenage parenting, being a grandparent, ADHD, teenage ridiculousness, ADHD, Autism, ADHD, and marriage in the chaos, and all of the wonderful moments in between.

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