This post is hard for me to write, but I am because I can’t get this off my mind. Like many children with ASD, Liam struggles with socialization. On the rare opportunities that a neighbor kid does come over, Liam either ends up having a meltdown, smothering them, or bossing them around too much. He has “friends,” but not ONE that comes every day or so to play with him. I think he just over whelms them. I understand, however, my sweet, well meaning son does NOT.
At his last eval he even told Dr. Dan he “wants more friends.” So it’s obviously on his mind. We work with him. When a kid is here, we try to make sure he takes turns, isn’t too bossy, isn’t in their space too much, and so on. I don’t think it’s working.
Now, pair him with his friend “J” that has Aspergers, and they go together like birds of a feather. It’s great. I wish she lived next door though so they could play together every day….
So the other night we were talking about going to see Santa on Saturday, and I asked Liam what he was going to ask Santa for.You see, for months, Liam has asked for EVERY toy under the sun. He has made list, after list, after list. He has pegged out his Amazon wish list TWICE!!! (those of you not familiar with the list and how much you can put on it…that’s over 5 THOUSAND toys!!!) He has asked for EVERYTHING…..
…. but this time however, his reply stunned me. Shattered my heart, and made me have to hide some tears from him….. .
“All I want for Christmas Momma, is a friend.” Yep. That’s what he said. My heart sunk into my stomach. We may not have a lot of money, and we try our best to grant his wishes every Christmas. But how in the world do I grant this one? I can’t MAKE someone be his friend….
I always try to view my son’s Autism in a positive light. I know he has mild Autism, but that doesn’t make some of his struggles any less. We are in the process of changing service providers for him, and the new provider is trying to get him 20 hours of TSS. I know this is something I can ask his new TSS to work on, but I don’t know when he will be here. Waiting on paperwork and red tape is frustrating. What’s more frustrating is seeing your child struggle and not being able to help. What’s even more frustrating than that is seeing your child struggle over something many of us take for granted. The companionship of a good friend.
Play to children is a necessity. It helps them grow, learn and flourish.
My child doesn’t have this opportunity, and as a parent it pisses me off!!!! Not being able to help your child is to me, one of the hardest parts of Autism. So I am left with not knowing what to do. I will of course try my best to help him relate to the neighbor kids. I will of course keep asking them to come play with him. In the end though, a friendship is out of my control……
So Santa, PLEASE help my child make a friend. PLEASE set his mind at ease about trying to fit in. PLEASE help him see that in order to have a friendship you must GIVE and take. PLEASE help him find just ONE kid, that can help my son grow and flourish and be happy……
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