Oh, For Fart Sake

December 16, 2012January 16, 2021 Claire Parkinson

Like most days things are a little hectic in our household. A few days ago was no exception! Yes after having yet another not so great day at school things turned a little sour once home. Most parents of children with Aspergers will likely relate when I say at times I feel as if I am parenting a moody teenager with raging hormones with a mouth that you wished was taped shut due to the inappropriate language that so often flies out from it. Then other times it’s like looking after a toddler when I’m chasing little man up the road or his throwing himself on the floor. Well at times the two will merge together, This combination means one thing only! A full on meltdown.

A meltdown isn’t your everyday tantrum that results because the child is unable to get their own way. It’s an extreme blow up of emotions which to others can seem like a complete exaggerated reaction to the situation. But these emotions have likely been bubbling a way inside like a volcano for quite some time. They can erupt at anytime if faced with even the smallest of triggers. When it does erupt its massive and like any volcano will often destroy anything in its path. Today was the day for our volcano to erupted and it seems to be a biggin.

I felt like taking my own head and smashing it against a few walls. ludicrous yes, crazy I am not, tired hell yer we all were. At least it wasn’t an all nighter ( Something I only used to associate with a Saturday night ) It lasted two hours, A trying and tiring two hours but this is a marked improvement. As many parents of children on the spectrum will know us as a household could off been dealt a much harder blow! Meltdowns can last anything from hours to days! Yes they stop and start but it’s a battle over the same thing and it feels like it’s never going to end. Well I’m alive ( Just about ) Alice ( little mans sister ) she is coping. Daddy his lucky to be somewhere else and Little man? His layed out on the floor eyes rolling and falling asleep completely worn out from all the excitement his caused.

Are you wondering what caused the eruption of volcano Little man? It only seems fair to share given you have read this far. Well it’s kinda hard to explain as it’s a little bizarre. Ok truth be told I just don’t know how to put this without it sounding wrong! Do I just blurt it out and what word is most appropriate ! Oh god sod it!! FART. Thats correct little mans meltdown was indeed caused by the eruption of something other than a volcano but a gush of wind, trump, blow off, letting one rip if you like. Yep a fart! This the trigger was so kindly supplied by his little sister ( Hope she never reads this ) Poor little sis tried so hard to pop one out on the sneak. She should know by now that nothing gets past super sensory little man. He heard it almost immediately smelt it? that’s also pretty likely. He was like a manic mad child that needed dragging of his poor sister. He was kicking and screaming acting completely bonkers. What made the whole thing worse was the fact little sister laughed when he turned around and glared at her in disgust.

Did she giggle with the embarrassment of having just blown off? Could have been but it’s my guess it was due to the fact it was funny and yes I’m guilty when I say initially I did chuckle too. Little man however wasn’t laughing and just took it all the wrong way. Completely overwhelmed by the whole thing he sat on the stairs for an hour crying and banging. If u ignore the behaviour it often works and the behaviour will often diffuse itself. But when meltdowns are in full swing it’s not always possible as ignoring only caused the banging to become louder.

If I wanted to have a complete and undamaged stair case then intervention was my only option.

With this I had to work hard in my mission to convince him to stop. He did eventually but just replaced it with abuse which he offered so kindly in between sobs. By the second hour It’s clear his tired as his finally stopped with the ” You didn’t tell her off for farting” And “I am going to jump from the top of the stairs so all my arms and legs break off” His now in the living room and layed out on the floor calling me fatty ( He has called me this since I was pregnant with my five month old little boy ) His also telling Alice that she is a baby because she believes in father Christmas and the tooth fairy which I tell her to ignore. Well he carried on for the hour till he finally dozed of with red eyes and sore cheeks from all the tears.

All this over a little fart. I’m just extremely grateful it wasn’t one of his fathers or we would be looking on a weeks meltdown minimum.