To @AnnCoulter : This is Who you Insult

I woke up to the news today that Ann Coulter had used the R-word in an insult to The President following the last debate.  I went to bed with a migraine, but today I’ve woken up feeling worse.  I’m tired of hate speech.  I’m tired of waking up to a world with that word in it.  There is no place for it- not in politics, and not in our personal lives.


A fellow autism parent blogger has started up a link for a post denouncing Ann Coulter’s slur, and some parents have posted photos to show exactly who is being insulted by the R-word.  Both of my children have developmental delays; and both are beautiful, smart, funny, complex and worthy human beings.  I liberally use photos of them in my blog, but I never will in association with something as derogatory as the R-word.  That word doesn’t apply to them; it doesn’t apply to any of us.

I’m dismayed by a pundit using that word, but I’m just as angry about the number of people retweeting her comment, or defending such an offensive slur.  If you use that word, if you defend the use of that word; you are hurting me and my family.  And if you are going to start doing that, believe me, I have a number of choice words for you…and not one of them nearly as hateful as this one.

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You can call me Spectrummy Mummy, your guide to our not-so-average family and all things spectrummy. I’m originally from England, American by marriage, and currently living in Argentina, by way of a couple of other countries. Honestly though, it doesn’t matter where we’re living, we know for sure that the journey is more important than the destination.


You can call me Spectrummy Mummy, your guide to our not-so-average family and all things spectrummy. I’m originally from England, American by marriage, and currently living in Argentina, by way of a couple of other countries. Honestly though, it doesn’t matter where we’re living, we know for sure that the journey is more important than the destination.

0 thoughts on “To @AnnCoulter : This is Who you Insult

  • October 28, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    I think people jump to amazing conclusions about the word retard and yet I understand that it could hurt someone who is called the name.I’m a conservative person from a political perspective – and am very supportive of people expressing their opinions on a variety of subjects.

    Metal labels Fabric labels

  • October 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    I can’t stand the word “retard.”  Is it ok to say “kyke” or “nigger?”  No, I did not think so. 

    I hate the word “retarded.”  Is it ok to say “jewed down?”  No, I didn’t think so.

  • October 28, 2012 at 5:27 am

    @TheTheologiansCafe@xanga – The “media” cover Ann Coulter because she is right about almost everything and she understands reality and is able to describe it well.

    With the Democrat Party dominated drive-by media lying and covering for the Obama Regime, Ann Coulter’s services are in great demand.

  • October 27, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    @astounded – I never knew Ambassador Stevens personally, obviously, but he sounds like he was a very good man and a gentleman. We desperately need more people like him.

  • October 27, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    An excellent post! Thank you so much for this blog. Insulting Ann Coulter is wasted effort (she gets paid to be a provocateur (or is it “provocateuse?” My French is rusty…))… but she is angry anyway because her man is about to be smacked down this election So pity poor Ann. She hasn’t eaten since W. left office and hates the resulting renewed happiness in the country today.

  • October 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    @PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga – Actually, on this website – the floor is mine to give. 🙂

    All that aside, I respect Ann Coulter and her political opinions in all honesty.  I’m a conservative person from a political perspective – and am very supportive of people expressing their opinions on a variety of subjects.   
    But like what @astounded and I have already stated, this post and her comments are more about the use of the word ‘retarded’ and are not politically based.  You keep pulling into the issue of politics, when that is not the case.   
    I respect your opinion as well, thank you for your input.

  • October 27, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    @Joel – The floor is not yours to give.  Demonizing political commentators because they do not conform to Democrat Party speech codes is reprehensible regardless of who has the floor.

  • October 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    To @PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga –   I give the floor to @astounded – well said.

    @accumulations@xanga – I don’t think a post like this (or others regarding this topic) is in fact ‘denouncing someone’  but rather bringing to light that we must be cautious about how we communicate.
    As @theladyofabundance@xanga  researched – it’s not really the word themselves that are at issue – but rather the meaning behind the words that we put on them that make this a hot topic.
    For now the term ‘retard’ is being utilized in a derogatory manner – and this just needs to be addressed appropriately (in my opinion as well).   
    To me the issue isn’t just about the word – but more so the lack of response by those who are in positions of influence.   
    When 50Cent, for example, utilized this word – those who follow him and are influenced by him utilized this word regularly – often reinforcing their vocabulary when bullying children with special needs.
    The fact is that he not only used the word, but failed to recognize and respond to an entire community who is deeply offended.
    Of course we’d love to have tough skin and let it slide – but when people of influence utilize these words – other people tend to utilize them as well…. so our work as parents/caregivers/and people with special needs become even more difficult – as this word contributes heavily at this time to those who bully.

  • October 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    how many posts denouncing how many people… for how long… apologizing in advance if this comes out harsh, but people say things all the time to denigrate many different types of populations of people, but this is wasted energy and all this post does is anger people and teach them to feel indignant and righteous without any positive consequence. This kind of post just tells people to be angry without resolution. The problem of people using words without thinking of the consequences and who it hurts has been around since the beginning of time because different people will take offense to different things. But I don’t think this is a productive way of thinking for your own peace of mind. Just accept that people will say things that are hurtful, I’m sure you’ve done the same to others and I’ve done the same to others and we all do it, move past it, don’t dwell on it, you’re just setting yourself up to let yourself be hurt. 

  • October 27, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    @astounded – Benghazi is real truth.  The demonization of Ann Coulter is the usual Democrat Party ruse used to change the subject.  In other words it’s a lie.

  • October 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Along this same line, if you recall the last presidential elections Sarah Palin was furious about the show Family Guy that took a personal hit at her. The other controversial part of this is that the same episode contained a crude song about dating a girl with Down Syndrome.

    As a response to the uproar from Palin and those who support individuals with disability the actress who played the girl with Down Syndrome spoke out. The twist is the actress has the diagnosis of Down Syndrome. She stated and I quote “

    My name is Andrea Fay Friedman. I was born with Down syndrome. I played the role of Ellen on the “Extra Large Medium” episode of Family Guy that was broadcast on Valentine’s day…I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm”.

    She goes on to say…

    “In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”

    Later this prompted and interview with the actress-

    When you get asked to play characters who have Down syndrome, does that make you at all uncomfortable?
    No, I’m proud of it. I’m not embarrassed. But mostly, it doesn’t matter if you have Down syndrome. Really, it just matters to have a different challenge.

    When did you find out about the reaction that the episode elicited from Sarah Palin and her family?
    [laughs] That I did not even know about until my mom told me, “You’re on Channel 4!” And when I watched on Channel 4, on “Extra,” and I saw Sarah Palin with her son Trig. I’m like, “I’m not Trig. This is my life.” I was making fun of Sarah Palin, but not her son.

    Do you agree with what she and her daughter Bristol were saying, that the character and the jokes were insulting to people with Down syndrome?
    It’s not really an insult. I was doing my role, I’m an actor. I’m entitled to say something. It was really funny. I was laughing at it. I had a nice time doing voiceover. It was my first time doing a voiceover, and I had fun.

    Furthermore the author who posted the interview states- “People with Down Syndrome can be completely functioning, capable people, and although Family Guy didn’t approach the subject in a completely PC manner, it makes a strong point!!  Why should anyone make those with Down Syndrome feel anymore different than the rest of us, even if it’s by shielding them from jokes? All it does is isolate people even further – and nobody should feel that way.”

  • October 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    As a rather hot topic you guys have got me looking at resources online about the subject. Obviously you are going to find people who want to ban the word and others who support the use of the word etc. I came across a piece from the Washington Post (click here to see it)

    To play devil’s advocate I pasted parts of the article here:

     “If the history of offensive terms in America shows anything, it is that words
    themselves are not the culprit; the meaning we attach to them is, and such
    meanings change dramatically over time and across communities. The term
    “mentally retarded” was itself introduced by the medical establishment in the
    20th century to supplant other terms that had been deemed offensive. Similarly,
    the words “gay” and “queer” and even the N-word can be insulting, friendly,
    identifying or academic in different contexts.”

    “Like virtually every word in our language, the N-word has multiple uses.
    While its use as an insult has decreased, there has been a resurgence of the
    word as a term of identification, even affection, among some African Americans.
    But should certain groups of people, to the exclusion of others, be allowed to
    reclaim certain words? If “retard” or “retarded” were similarly restricted,
    could intellectually disabled individuals appropriate the term for
    self-identification, essentially reclaiming its original use or developing a new
    one? “

    “The current public awareness campaign surrounding the use of the word “gay”
    offers better lessons and parallels for the R-word debate. Advocacy groups
    contend that the phrase “that’s so gay” fosters homophobia and that anti-gay
    language is directly related to violence and harassment against homosexuals. At
    the same time, there is recognition that much anti-gay language is uttered
    carelessly and isn’t necessarily intended as hurtful — as is probably the case
    with uses of “retard.”

    “Inherent in this idea is the realization that words have multiple meanings and
    that those meanings depend on the context and circumstances surrounding any
    particular statement. For example, “gay” is a term of identification for
    homosexuals, but it also can be used as an all-purpose put-down: “That’s so
    gay.” Those using it as an insult don’t intend to say “that’s so homosexual,”
    nor do they necessarily make the conscious leap that homosexuality is bad.”

    “Differing usages also give rise to reclaiming — when words that have an
    offensive meaning are deliberately given a new spin. The putative slur is
    captured, repurposed and owned by the target of insult. We see this when an
    African American uses the N-word as a term of identification for his friends, or
    when the word “queer” is reclaimed for TV shows such as “Queer Eye for the
    Straight Guy” and “Queer as Folk,” and for queer studies and queer theory in
    university courses. Reclaiming the word “retard” is an option that should
    involve no risk to freedom of expression. “

    “If interest groups want to pour resources into cleaning up unintentional
    insults, more power to them; we surely would benefit from greater kindness to
    one another. But we must not let “retard” go without a requiem. If the goal is
    to protect intellectually disabled individuals from put-downs and prejudice, it
    won’t succeed. New words of insult will replace old ones. “

  • October 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    @PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga – Um, What?  What does the tragedy of what happened in Benghazi have to do with Ann Coulter using the “R” word?  I actually work at the State Department, and am astounded that you’ve brought up MY murdered colleagues.  This has nothing to do with politics or them.  I was just as upset about it when Rahm Emmanuel said the same word as when Ann Coulter did so it’s not political.

    I read the article she wrote above, and nowhere does it say ANYTHING about politics.  This is a post about how a word hurts when people use it.  You don’t know if she’s a Democrat or a Republican by what she wrote.  (Just because she criticized Ann Coulter doesn’t make her a Democrat.)  If you just read the post, it states why she’s upset, and doesn’t make any mentions of politics.  You’re the one that brought politics into this.

  • October 27, 2012 at 7:28 am

    @Joel – Ann Coulter is politics.  And this post tries to demonize her by using Democrat Party speech codes.

    Barack Obama sat and watched four Americans get murdered in Benghazi, Libya.

    Where is your outrage at a real issue?



    I know, you’re too busy being the Ann Coulter language police to care about the President watching his countrymen get murdered when he could have saved them.

  • October 27, 2012 at 6:48 am

    @ShimmerBodyCream@xanga – I don’t think it’s wasted energy to share an opinion on this topic.  In fact, I wrote a post about it on my Autisable blog becuase of what she wrote here.—from-50cent-to-anncoulter/

    @PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga – Seriously?  Politics?   The R-word has nothing to do with Politics, but has everything to do with the appropriate use of a word.   When Ann Coulter applied the word ‘Retard’ here, there was a serious offense felt throughout the Special needs community.  It was Ann Coulter’s use of the words within the context of politics that brought the subject of politics to the light – but forget the politics on this one.
    @Ikwa@xanga – not exactly what I would say, but well put.
    @tinkerbellx12345@xanga – I’m a conservative to moderate in my viewpoints.  And politics aside, what she said was just plainly innappropriate.   The same for when 50Cent and others said this word as well.  This isn’t a political issue – but more of the use of the language issue.   This word has been used by bullies at schools, and the wording of federal legislation has been reworded to use a different phrase because of how offensive this word has become.   It’d be easy to have the ‘grow up’ remark and apply it, however the words used by those in the public limelight are repeated by bullies towards our children.   Even though people have the right to say what they want to say – there also comes the responsibility in using words appropriately.  Just remember, this issue isn’t about adults in as much as it’s about our kids being hurt hurt because someone repeated those same words to our kids in an offensive and derogatory fashion.
    @Anemic_Royaltea@xanga – nice perspective.
    @At_Sixes_And_Sevens@xanga – I’d probably laugh as well, however, this isn’t the time or place for it – and it isn’t a movie designed to test people’s humor level by attempting to display stereotypes and purposely offend people.   This is a serious issue as the use of the ‘r-word’ has been part of many in their language that equates to a more serious issue of bullying.  In short, this isn’t the place or context where humor can be applied.
    @theladyofabundance@xanga – hateful words of all types shows a lack of respect.  I’m not as divided on this subject as you (obviously) – but appreciate your honesty and perspective.

    @agear – agreed here as well.

  • October 27, 2012 at 5:08 am

    I totally agree with you. My son, his dad, and I all have behavioral, and or developmental disabilities. We make sure are son never uses words like that and knows not to call others by hateful words either. That serves no purpose and can only hurt people. 

  • October 26, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    I find it odd though, many people I’ve met who are against the word retard have no problem using the words bitch or asshole or any other number of “hateful words”. If someone was to say angrily that traffic was retarded I dont think that person is waging a war against their neighbor’s son that has down syndrome. Can people use the word to diminsh those with a diagnosis? I believe yes. But I also think people can use the word and it have NOTHING to do with those with a diagnosis. I understand why parents would take offence especially if their child, diagnosed OR not, was called ANY hateful word. But those other words dont get nearly the same amount of attention -yet they are just as hurtful.

    I think people jump to amazing conclusions about the word retard and yet I understand that it could hurt someone who is called the name. Yet at the same time LOTS of words hurt and I dont feel the right to censor people from using them. I’m pretty divided on this.

  • October 26, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    @tinkerbellx12345@xanga – 

    Okay, let’s play a game:
    Let’s say ‘retard’ isn’t offensive, and it fairly describes a group of people who have developmental disabilities. Even if that were true – Coulter calls Obama one. And he’s not, and everyone knows he’s not. But by implying that he is, derisively, that means to be one is a negative thing, to be made the object of mockery.

    And don’t those with developmental disabilities and impaired faculties deserve a little bit better than that?

    While, we’re at it, what if she called him ‘that f*ggot,’ or ‘that n-word’ – would that be different? How?

  • October 26, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Bunch of crybaby liberals.  The left goes around saying horrible things and Ann Coulter can’t say Retard?  Since when did retard or retarded become a “dirty word”.  The definition of retarded:   slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress.  HOW is that offensive, when it is a plain truth?  Everyone is so worried about being “special” and getting their “feelings’ hurt and making everyone “equal”.  Grow up. 

  • October 25, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Ann is a poor excuse for a human. @PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga – What do you know about that? I have a handicapped child and it is unacceptable when anyone slurs them. If she was a democrat you would have brought out tar and feathers. I am sure Palin didn’t like it either. She got pretty mad the last election with the R-word.
    So Now who is a hypocrite?

  • October 25, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    This post is Democrat Party speech codes in action.

    Did you know that Obama used children to call Romney a “bullshitter?”  LINK

    And worse then Obama is you, using a blog dedicated to handicapped children to score points against a Conservative woman you don’t like.
    Applying a standard to others that you do not apply to yourself is hypocrisy.


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