How Sammy’s Autism Affects Us All
Tyler is best buddies with Sam. They have a deep link that I can’t even begin to comprehend. I often find them engrossed in the same stim or Tyler leading Sammy into a calmer place before he melts down.The both of them enthralled with our stim pot and their reflection.
Nate started as the baby brother and is now almost of level ground with Sammy. As Nate changes every day and matures and figures things out Sammy often get’s left behind. Sam will often bully Nathaniel , but lately Nate strikes back and reprimands Sammy. It’s hard to watch the younger children passing him.
AJ and Sammy fight constantly. In fact even if AJ has nothing to do with whatever it is, Sammy finds him and takes it out on him. I have no idea what that is about. My best guess being that he feels really safe with AJ. AJ is the softest squishiest most lovable kid. AJ also has sensory processing issues and often kisses too hard, touches to fast and moves with some awkwardness. That translates into Sammy feeling as if he is under attack. Not a good way to feel and I am sure AJ often feels like he gets the raw end of the deal.
Grace and Sammy are a different story. Sammy is the baby whisperer and Grace adores him. She also adores Tyler. The three connect on awesome levels. I am not sure if it is just because she is a baby or if I will someday in the not too distant future be told Grace is also an ASD child.
Who knows what our house will be like in 5 years. I don’t know how many kids we will have by then if even any more. However many we do have, Sammy’s autism doesn’t just change him it changes us all in ways I never would have imagined
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I love seeing science confirming what pet owners seem to have known all along.
My boys grew up with cats, and there was clear mutual love between them. Since the first cat arrived shortly after my younger son’s birth, I’ve got no idea what life would have been like without them. My stepsons grew up with dogs and definitely adored them, the youngest spent so much time with them, including sleeping with them, that we used to call him “Dog Boy.”
I’d recommend introducing your children to animals before you make the decision to adopt. This could be done at friends’ homes, or many animal shelters will let you visit; the pet shelter in Charlottesville, Virginia even had a petting zoo when my boys were little. See how your kids react to the animals, which they seem most drawn to; this will help you make the decision.
Since kids, even those without challenges, often have a hard time dealing with sudden changes and disappointments, I’d recommend that you don’t mention the possibility of bringing a pet home until you’ve made the decision that you truly want to. Then, talk to them about the idea and get their feedback. Finally, take them with you when you go to pick out a pet, even though you’ll need to make the final decision. Oh, and don’t immediately assign pet-related chores to the kids. Let them bond. Let the kids help you, if they offer to, when you feed your new pet and perform other necessary chores. Later, if you want to, you can work out a schedule for the kids to participate in your new pet’s care, but make sure that you maintain enough oversight to prevent neglect. By seeing the pet care as your responsibility, but one you are willing to share with the kids, you’ll avoid a whole lot of difficulties.
Please accept my apologies if I’ve offered too much advice. I just want your overall experience, and that of your kids, to be as positive as possible.
Aww.. this made my day