Some Days Are Just Too Hard.
How many ways can I say “I don’t know where your yellow and green shovel is because you buried it at the beach last week and lost it.”
How many ways can I say “What did you think would happen when you dropped your puzzle piece in the crack between the patio squares? Did you really think I’d be able to fish it out?”
How many mornings will I be dragging my screaming, crying child down to the school bus, hoisting his kicking, twisting body up the steps?
There are days when it’s really hard to stay hopeful.
Really hard.
When I feel like I’d be totally justified for leaving my kid at the park and heading home alone. When I feel like nobody could blame me for giving up. When I actually allow myself to ponder the big What If.
What If I had a typical kid? What If we just didn’t have to deal with this crap?
I count the hours til bedtime, watch a funny movie, and hope that tomorrow morning will be better.
And then I drag my screaming, crying child down to the school bus again.
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I just wanted to send hugs ….. ((hugs)) I have 2 boys; one autistic and one ADHD/Anxiety. The non-autistic one is actually the harder one for me to deal with, likely because his personality and mine are SO CLOSELY in-tuned. You recognize that some days are hard, and htat’s good. NO worries though – parents fo “typical” children have these feelings too!
Parents like you are exactly the reason why I am doing the research that I am doing… I’ve worked with so many parents of children with ASDs who are exasperated and stressed beyond belief, and I want to be able to develop a way to effectively help them.
All parents have unique stresses as the result of raising children, but what is being done to help parents cope?
My name is Crystal Lee, and I am a doctoral student in clinical psychology at Baylor University. For my dissertation I am studying stress and ways of coping with stress in parents. My hope is to use the data from my dissertation to create an effective way to help parents cope with stress.
I am looking for parents of children ages 5-12 in three categories:
1. Parents of children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder
2. Parents of children with Type 1 Diabetes
3. Parents of children with no diagnoses
If you meet the above criteria, please take this survey, which takes 30-45 minutes to complete: https://baylor.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_0GJF7ldjuBwBWEk
If you do not meet the above criteria, please consider forwarding the survey to any parents you know that fit the above criteria.
People who complete the survey can participate in a drawing for one of three $50 giftcards to Amazon.com. Additionally, people who refer others to the survey get their name added into the drawing for each person they refer.
If you have any questions regarding the study, you may contact me at [email protected]
Thank you for your time and help,
Crystal Lee, M.S.
Doctoral Student
Department of Psychology and Neuroscience
Baylor University
Thanks for writing this.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks about giving up (Not that giving up is an actual option).
I just keep reminding myself that every single one of his fits before now have ended, so this one will too.
@aheartofglitter@xanga – i don’t think that works with an autistic child. their mindset is completely different to that of a kid that doesn’t have autism, unfortunately.
@akarui_mitsukai@xanga – PDD, also known as PDD-NOS, stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified. It’s an amorphous place on the autism spectrum that includes anyone who does not fit the criteria for a diagnosis of classic autism or Asperger’s syndrome.
My boy isn’t at the age yet of the school bus, but I imagine this is what I will be going through. Sometimes I believe that if I looked up ‘stubborn’ and ‘strong-willed’ in the Websters dictionary, it would say “See Blake”.
I also do that ‘What if’ game with myself. What if this never gets better? What if its like this, day in, and day out? What if it continues to be a daily struggle to get my son to where he needs to be? What if he can never tell me how hes feeling, or whats bothering him?
But I do know that in order to see the rainbow, you must first endure the rain.
Cheer up, Mama. You are doing all that you can, and doing it well. Feel free to message me, to vent or rant. We can trade stories sometime.
I’m with you, mom. I have two on the spectrum and some days it’s so hard. If you need to vent, I’m here for you, just message me or contact me via email: karmicbutterfly @gmail.com
@aheartofglitter@xanga – Doesn’t work with autistic children, especially those on the low functioning end of the spectrum. I know, that’s what our parents did with us, but heavy discipline does nothing to get through to them. It takes behavior therapy.
Awww. *hugs* What is it your child has? Not sure I’ve heard of PDD before. If you don’t mind explaining again, at least? n_n; I’m new here. Sorry. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I’m not a mom of a child at all… But I’m here to listen if you ever need someone to vent or cry to. Ask anyone. I’m good for that. n_n
<3, ~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
I grew up raising my little brat of a brother, and went through the same concept of dragging him to the bus. I understand the being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but it does get easier. Think of how many times you make the kid laugh, or when they come home and something happens at school and they can’t wait to tell you. All children have faults, and that’s what makes them who they are. It was our mistakes that we made that infact made us who we are, it just takes time. Everybody has their days when they hate school, and every body has their days when they feel like they’re being dragged to work. Sounds like a handful, but cherish the moments you spend laughing with your child, you spend bonding with that part of you. When you cherish these moments, the light is always brighter, as well as the shadows that these mishaps create.
Show your kid who’s boss? Discipline? :
hang in there. there’s got to be some comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
I personally can’t relate, but it sounds like the woman who commented above me can, and there are plenty others!
oh wow this could be written by me. Sending you hugs
sending you love Mom