Winning

Yesterday I won.  It was just a book, an autism-related book at that.

No.

I’m not going to qualify it like that.

Yesterday I won.

I got something for free with hardly any effort on my part.  I didn’t win something, but lose in another area.  I didn’t win something, but discover that the prize came at a cost.  I had an unqualified win.  I needed it.

It feels like lately has been a series of Pyrrhic victories.  Progress in some areas and more difficulty in others.  Getting special education services for Cubby, but failing to get the occupational and physical therapy services he has been receiving.  Or the speech therapy services he is beginning to require.  Finding that her autism symptoms are lessening slightly, but gaining an additional three diagnoses.  Improving Pudding’s ADHD symptoms, but with worsening sleep issues.  Finally getting to try and add wheat back into the kids’ diets, but now a peanut allergy so severe we need an Epi-pen at all times.  Learning that I don’t have tuberculosis as suspected, but asthma bad enough to require medication for the first time in 13 years.

…
Overall we’re doing okay.  It feels like three steps forward and only two steps back, but it is taking all my effort these days.  I’m not my best self, and I’m hoping that what I have is good enough.  Familiar territory for me.  I’m a good enough soldier to keep battling on, taking victories where I can, and accepting strategic defeats.  I’ll even surrender some areas.  This is just life in the trenches at times.

But yesterday I won.  It doesn’t matter what.  It feels good.  I’m even starting to understand where Charlie Sheen was coming from.

I needed it.

Here’s to more wins for all of us.

spectrummymummy

You can call me Spectrummy Mummy, your guide to our not-so-average family and all things spectrummy. I’m originally from England, American by marriage, and currently living in Argentina, by way of a couple of other countries. Honestly though, it doesn’t matter where we’re living, we know for sure that the journey is more important than the destination.