Don’t Fix My Child!
What if someone told you they wish they could fix your autistic child?
Fix… as in the act of making something that is broken repaired.
Am I being too sensitive?
I do not see my child as broken.
Challenged? Yes, but certainly not broken.
And then in the same conversation this person said, “…but she sure is beautiful.”
Beautiful… as in having great qualities that gives great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, and think about.
Am I the only who sees the paradox?
I do not see my child’s beauty as a compensation for her challenges.
Yes, she is beautiful, but more importantly….
…My daughter is Sahara Grace; She is whole, vibrant, and a perfect expression of herself!!
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Mother, Wife, Autism Advocate, Crunchy Mom Wanna Be, Reiki Master, Blogger, Young Living Essential Oil Education Coach and Mentor. I am the mother of two fantastic, expressive, healthy daughters who happen to be on the autism spectrum.
@radicalramblings@xanga – what pharmaceutical company is paying you?? What a nonsenseical comment. You’re talking about apples and oranges. When a cure is worse than the thing it was supposed to fix and that answer would be absolutely yes! My advice to you is to check closely to who is funding the studies behind the statements that you choose to repeat.
Aren’t people trying to prevent autism all the time? So is it really so bad to say that once it is there, they wish they could undo it? I will agree that it might be a little classless to say that right to your face though.
@shinobu_no_okami – how should we refer to that characteristic of a person then, if we can’t say a person “has” autism?
@radicalramblings@xanga – Exactly what similarities are you trying to draw between neurodiversity and cancer?
If your daughter had diabetes, or cancer, or cerebral palsy – would you be offended if someone expressed a wish that a cure existed?
Then we should just “fix” everyone that’s not up to people’s standards. Whatever. That’s a load of bullshit.
your little girl should just be herself as well despite what people say really. She doesn’t need to be “fixed” What a load of hogwash, really. She’s still a person even if they can’t see it.. People are quite insensitive..I’m glad you find the beauty in her =)
@SavonDuJour@xanga – Dude, would you call me “person WITH Autism?” Um, the reason I ask is, some consider that to be very rude, inside the mental context. ‘With’, ‘has’, ‘suffers from’, and ‘is inflicted with’, can be very rude if the person being referred to doesn’t like this phraseology!
Personally, I believe that every trait is part of a whole person. If a person doesn’t like those traits or considers them to be negative, subtracting from a whole, THAT is the time to be using the words that connotate negativity. However, if they like the trait/s, like I do, then… use language in a way that they’ll appreciate. Autism is just as much an appreciable trait as bibliophilia, and can enhance one’s capacities, not just take from them. Disorders are collections of traits, and can be looked at in the same way.
minus brain burning, it isn’t so bad.
they took away my ld, and i don’t have developmental problems–been tested, and i was functioning, but people deserve it, and i don’t because i’m evil.
Luckily, I’m schizophrenic not autistic, or I’d be dead because I had to understand what people were doing and saying.
yeah, I was pretty too and poetic. I also scored above average on tests, and they broke me.
They will force your child to absolute submission. Since she’s pretty, she’ll also have to fulfill their ego problems too. She doesn’t get things just because she’s nice looking.
+Screams+
I’m barely human to them, and they justify anything.
The proper world would be adapt. People in the spectrum tends to live in their own world and they will have to eventually leave it to others’ worlds. This is what my parents try to instill me, yet they failed, despite I’m able to adapt into most people’s world by my very own effort.
She is who she is. There are all sorts of challenges people have but it doesn’t take away or even change their humanity.
I never say autistic person because that puts the autism before the person. I say person with autism, which aknowledges the person first and puts the disorder second. It used to be acceptable to say mongol, but now we say someone has Down’s Syndrome. Sometimes just language can change how people think.
@Coachelainehall – I think you made a really great comment.
I hate it when people ask me if I am being “treated” or “cured” for my Aspergers. I’m not broken, there’s nothing “wrong” with me, and I think people should support neurodiversity instead of being intimidated or afraid of it. Good for you, mom! Thank you for this post.
Wow. I don’t think you’re being too sensitive.
Shouldn’t it be up to the child whether they want to be “fixed?” Even if they’re non-verbal, they probably still have ways of showing whether they want to live like they do or not.
Thank you, for this terrific post. I can so relate. Before our diagnosis 14 years ago, I saw my son as whole- complete – with challenges. Then when diagnoses and all of these folks set on “fixing” Neal, I lost sight of the truth. He is and always was WHOLE. As I write in my book , Now I See the Moon,
http://www.nowiseethemoon.com, the therapies and interventions are absolutely necessary to help him be the best that he can be – however the intention is not to “fix” or “cure” but rather to enhance his abilities. Thank you, again for your terrific post. All the best,
Elaine Hall
Founder: The Miracle Project
Author: Now I See the Moon: mother, a son, a miracle (HarperCollins)
Blog: http://www.coacheonautism.com