To the Mother of an Aspie

Dear Mother of an Aspie,

When I first met your son, I was struck by how handsome and intelligent he was, yet so shy. We were in a few high school classes together, history and art. He was always on the computer in art class doing fancy things so I knew he must be computer smart (he definitely was no artist!) I was the one who asked him out on our first date. We went to a movie, the perfect opportunity for any man to make a move. But I want to let you know, your son treated me with respect (and later told me, utter fear) and never made a move. In fact, the next day he was so afraid I was going to reject him he sat in a seat far away from me.  

We soon fell madly in love. That was five years ago, we are now married and living happily together. Throughout those years we went through some really tough situations, ones that most men would have left in. We were long distance for two years. We fought some epic fights. Once I tried to kill myself. No matter how badly things were going, he would always say, “I love you.”

Sometimes we would talk about his childhood. He always comments on how terrible he was, how he threw massive angry tantrums and destroyed things and called you names. He was expelled from many schools, had few to no friends, and said he felt incredibly bad for how he treated you. You didn’t know what was wrong with him, you took him to doctors and they prescribed him antipsychotics and antidepressants. Not until I came along did you find out he was an Aspie, and while you feel guilty and sad about how you treated him, I want to let you know he loves you so much.

Not to mention how successful he is at his job. It really is the perfect job for him, working with computers. And he’s also becoming much more capable of being social, thanks to jobs where he had to interact with coworkers.

So I know you must have felt that he was never going to amount to anything, but I want to say, thanks for sticking it out. He has been the most loyal, trustworthy, and dedicated man I’ve ever known. I am proud to be his wife.

-Your daughter in law

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