Poop Scrubbing
We have been potty training for 23 years. OK, not really, but it feels that way. It has only been TWO! This sounds discouraging and oh so wrong, but at this point I think my 1 1/2 year old will be fully potty trained before my 3 1/2 year old.
I understand that some kids on the spectrum will never fully potty train, so I am thankful for how far we have come. But this is getting really frustrating and tiring. I wrote a post back on January 24th of this year saying I thought he was potty trained but that I didn’t want to jinx it. The fairy in charge of jinxes obviously found that post and decided to screw the hell out of me!
Here we are, 6 months later and I am still scrubbing the crap out of underoos, literally. He’s got pee down. We haven’t had a pee accident in about a month. But the poop. Good lord. The poop. At the time of that last post I just mentioned, I was trashing poopy briefs and just buying new ones. But that ended up costing more than Pull-Ups and he still could care less about crapping in his underwear.
Please tell me I am not the only mom who is scrubbing poopy underwear? This is just miserable. A few times the bribe of fireworks got him to go in the toilet, but that fizzled. We have tried just about every reward and every punishment I can think of!
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@mommytotwoboys – Nah. Its worth complaining about. Alone or not, its pretty gross. D=
@ZombieMom_Speaks@xanga – It has been a month since you commented so maybe you have an update on the chart? We are having several undesireables including poop. Part of it is me and consistency. My son wants my constant attention. I know I shouldn’t give him all of me, but I can avoid some things if I just stay focused and consistent with him.
@ExposedWrists@xanga – Thanks for the advice and understanding. I think my son is more like you were, for some reason he is scared of it. I think he is scared of the sensation of pooping into the toilet. I know that sounds weird and I can’t really explain it, but I think that’s it. The more he does do it, the less he resists. In fact, now we are rounding that lazy corner. The other day he was outside having too much fun to come inside and sit on the potty.
@Mistress_Sabriel@xanga – We tried that. I put lacing cards he was excited about in there. But it wore off pretty quickly. Maybe it has to be something more spectacular. Thanks for the advice!
@the_rocking_of_socks@xanga – Oh my goodness! That is awful! I can’t imagine cleaning the carpet. And I thought the underwear was bad. Yikes!
@truth_behind_white_lies@xanga – Oh, I am sorry. I have nothing to complain about. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me.
@keystspf@xanga – Someone else gave me similar advice, stop stressing and making such a big deal about it. It has helped for me, but more importantly, I am so much more relaxed. It has helped my attitude about the whole thing to just relax about it all. Thanks!
@nettieheidmann – Good point. Sometimes I think that he is going to go soon, but I don’t push him to do it. I need to stop whatever I am doing and make helping him top priority. And be consistent. At times I just don’t want to deal with the fight.
@autismherd – Thank you! Good to know I am not alone. We are actually getting there, little by little.
Bow howdy…do I know what you mean! My daughter hasn’t had a pee accident in over a year (she’ll be nine next month), but this girl doesn’t give a rat’s fuzzy behind about dropping her solids. Mostly she does go in the potty, but if the bathroom is occupied she thinks it’s perfectly okay to go in her pants.
We’re trying out a chart system now to try and improve some of her less appealing behaviors, including this one. It’s only been a couple of weeks since we started using it, so the jury’s still out on whether it works or not yet.
What my mom did with me was make me sit on the potty several times a day for at least 3 to 5 minutes, made it sort of a game and then made it a big accomplishment when I finally went that first time and for a little bit after that. The important thing was that she didn’t sit there and hold my hand, but she did leave the door open and stayed within earshot so that I could both hear her and call if I needed her. I think that last bit was important because by not staying in the room she made me have to face it on my own, which helps with child empowering.
I wasn’t a kid that wasn’t training but for some reason she said I had a fear of the toilet and she made it a non-threatening situation by having me sit there even when I didn’t have to go, which made me less afraid of the toilet. It’s not that I’d scream or cry over the toilet…I just remember being confused by it and then that scaring me.
I feel for you though even though I’m not a mother myself because I have a friend who’s son didn’t get trained until he was 5 and she kind of figured that the reason why he didn’t train was because he was just lazy about it. She has twins and it was hard on her to have one that trained very young and then his brother training so late.
Is there a toy he like alot or an activity that can be done in the bathroom as an incentive to use it? “poop trucks” worked well for a few kids at the school I teach at…they only got to see and handle the toys when using the bathroom then they were put away as soon as they were done.
I think poop is the bane of every parents’ existence. My 2 1/2 year old boy likes to hide and poop, then grind it into the carpet with both hands. I think I’d rather scrub poopy underwear than to spend 2 hours trying to clean poopy carpet any day. Just keep trying; hopefully something will click one day.
You’re not the only one. My brother still has accidents a lot and he’s seventeen. Severe Autistic.
Potty training Josh took until he was just about to turn four. I’m not sure what my mom said to him, but all it took was him deciding that he was done with diapers that were too small. (I couldn’t afford two in diapers plus one in pull ups, so they all wore diapers.) I think leaving him alone about it until HE was ready was one of the key things that made it only take one day.
I felt the same way when my son was 4, 5, 6, …. it is finally starting to click now, and he’s 10. I don’t say this to discourage you at all — rather, I think if I had known how to deal with him better at an earlier age, *maybe* progress could have been a little bit faster. I can only say that for my boy, what has helped was when I stopped expecting him to notice when he needed to go, and started sending him to try at certain times of the day. It has made a big difference in our laundry and also our ability to just be out in the world and not have to worry about accidents; and over time he has begun to send himself. I still have to be proactive, and I will happily do so until he doesn’t need me any more. I’m confident the day will come.
Oh don’t be disheartened…I know how you are feeling-I swear I do…The only thing I can tell you is that it takes time..a long time..but it can and does happen..really-I swear. I used to think that I would be going along on job interviews or walking down the aisle behind him holding an adult diaper and wipes..really…My oldest did not train till he was four…and the next was trained at six…I know I know..it seems like forever-but it did happen. If he has the peeing down-the poop will follow-just slowly…really…Hang in there…:)