What is success in Autism?
There is so much information out there about Autism. So much in fact that persons who want to help from the outside heads can really spin with mountains of data to consider.
What really would be refreshing to hear is from:
A person with autism – what do you consider success?
A parent – what do you consider success?
A sibling – what do you consider success?
A caretaker – what do you consider success?
Others – what do you consider success?
Your input is appreciated!
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I think back over the past 10 years of my son’s life… success was so small in the beginning… getting him to look me in the eye, smile back at me, respond to his name, know me as his mother, learn to say what he wanted (or didn’t want#, toilet training, stop sucking on his fingers, eat more than just pediasure and shredded marble cheese, stop attacking his baby sister when she cried, sleep more than two hours at a time, not to scream so much… then it was to expand his vocabulary to 200 words, to learn how to take turns, to hold a crayon, to play simple games like catch or tag, to recognize shapes and colours, to dress himself, to sit at the table and eat some food — any food… then it was to hold a pencil and print his name, to know who his family is, to go to daycare with other children a few mornings per week, to answer questions, to sing songs, to play pretend, to ask questions, to brush his own teeth, to eat some more kinds of food…then it was to learn numbers, to learn how to read, to play soccer, to play with dolls, to build with blocks, to have playdates, to have at least one friend, to understand holidays, to eat some more kinds of food… then it was to go to kindergarten and learn enough to pass on his own, without assitance, to speak clearly, to stop policing the rules, to be polite, learn to rhyme, to tell a funny joke #and ‘get’ them too# and still to eat more food… then it was to go to a new school where nobody knew about his past and nobody would suspect that he was once autistic and he could just blend in and be given an equal chance… then it was to try to keep from telling everybody how proud I am of my boy who just got his brown belt in tae kwon do, who plays soccer and basketball on teams above his grade level, who works so hard to be a good hockey player, despite his skating abilities, who is a straight A student, who has tons of friends, who says things like ‘sweet’ when he likes something and ‘lame’ when he doesn’t, who hates having all sisters and no brothers but won’t let anyone pick on them because #as he says# that’s his job, who loves spicy Italian sausage, pizza, spaghetti with meatballs, chocolate cupcakes, white cheddar popcorn and cookie dough ice cream but still likes his vegetables drowning in cheese… every one of those things were huge successes and we have celebrated each with as much joy and gratitude. And all those successes,strung together across ten years of daily struggles and so much hard work has become this huge glorious daily celebration of life, in all its possibilities unfettered by autism.
Working with people on the spectrum for almost 17 years and having a son of my own and a Autism Foundation .For our loved one to be the best that they can with what ever they do.
Love them do not judge. Allow them to be accepted members of society.
They do have have to be what society expects them to be. Allow them to
be productive members in society what ever that may be. Acceptance is
great TRY IT they can show you alot. Everything is possible if your mind, heart and sole are open to the many possibilities from our loved one in their own time they will show you with patience from everyone
As a sibling- I would see success for my brother Sam as him growing up. He is 16 years old and obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. I would see success for him as getting a small job when he was older and perhaps living away from my parents from time to time in some sort of hostel, if such a thing exists? Or even on his own, but at the moment that seems almost impossible.
Success to me is to turn the negatives into positives as with my son, Brandon. Because of Brandon having autism I have a vocation, a calling to help others along the autism trail. It is what gets me up each morning and I love what I do.
Well, my brother is 2 years older than I am (he’s 22) and severely autistic… For me, success is simply when he isn’t acting all agitated like he usually is, when he’s not carrying out disgusting habits, and most importantly just seeing him laughing and happy… Because when he seems happiest is when I feel like he is connecting most with his family. My brother’s always in his own world (which figures; he’s autistic). But sometimes he’ll be in a heightened good mood and just want to sit with family and laugh. I know this sounds cliche and all, but it’s true. There’s really not much I can expect from him as he acts like a small child and can’t speak, despite being a full grown man.
If the person with Autism reaches goals that they have set out for themselves no matter how small they may seem to anyone else; that is success. If the care taker/family/teacher is able to set out creative ways for the individual to grow and have the quality of life they need and deserve; that is success.
There isn’t a way to define success. It’s all an individualized based perception. I always go into working with children and adults with autism with that in mind. I try to make activities and goals based on what they would want… (whether they tell me or I have to learn) and if they progress towards getting to those goals, it’s all a success.
It doesn’t have to be huge. It could be so small, but if the person is happy then that’s all that matters!
Happiness is success. 🙂
I’m more or less grazing the classics of success.
There isn’t any success in the human world — only food.
Success to me, a person on the spectrum, is working towards making a positive impact in the world. I believe my purpose in life is to help others dealing with autism.
Steps towards success are always changing, as they should be. For everybody it’s different. In middle school it was getting into a particular magnet high school. Then getting through high school (rough!). Finding a church I fit in; then finding a place in the church. Finding a place of my own. Now it’s getting funding for college to get a degree in Early Childhood Education/Development. Then it will be getting a job in the field.
You should never stop growing, no matter at what pace, until you expire. Humans aren’t meant to just ‘stop’. Maybe for another person, a goal might be “learning how to cross street safely” or “shop for groceries”. No goal is too small and never is a goal stupid.
a parent – being able to communicate his needs; seeing him watch a show and laugh; being able to adjust fairly easily during transitions; reading and writing; the conclusion at his last IEP meeting: no more pull outs; and the moment he made me most proud: scoring in the 99th percentile for first grade in the NWEA tests. He never ceases to amaze me!
I don’t know what I would be classified under. I suppose a caretaker of sorts, working towards becoming a therapist. I think success is seeing even the remotest sign of progress. When I’m working on intervention programs with children with autism, and I see a sign that it is making a difference, that it is helping with their behaviour (or whatever we are working on) it is success to me.
To me, success is being able to help improve the lifestyle they have.
Success from a parents point of view? Happy children. As my 7yo aspie has been self harming and talking about dying … well happy would be a huge massive success.
Good questions wish I could help you with the answers but I am mulling with them myself!
What do I consider a success as a parent: Josh maintaining control when he faces a disappointment, not having a complete meltdown over it.