5 steps to dealing with Teasing
One of the social skills programs we attended worked with Annie on how to deal with Unfriendly Teasing using a fairly simple 5 step method.
It is important to use an 8 out of 10 voice volume so you know the person who is doing the teasing can hear you.
Also, make eye contact so they know you are talking to them. Now, eye contact can be difficult especially if you are scared of someone, so can I share a little trick – if you are far enough away – about 1.5 meters you just have to look at their face and it appears to them as if you are looking at their eyes. If you are closer you can look at the bridge of their nose, the bit between the eyes.
1. Ignore and Walkaway – say ‘so’ or ‘whatever’ in a bored voice, keep your face bored/neutral.
Sometimes not reacting will make the teasing stop, but if it does not….
2. Say “Please stop it, it makes me feel upset.”
Sometimes friends tease us in a friendly way, but they can cross the line without realizing it. This will make our friends aware that their friendly teasing has crossed the line. But if it was not intended as friendly teasing and it does not stop…
3. Say “Stop it, I don’t like it.”
Turn the volume on your voice to 10 out of 10, be so loud the walls shake. If the teasing continues…
4. Say “Stop it or I’ll tell the teacher.”
or other grown up who is nearby, sadly most teasing does occur in the school playground. But if the threat of reporting to authority figure does not stop the teasing….
5. Walk away to the teacher and tell.
It is important to make sure a grown up knows what is going on, they can help stop unfriendly teasing.
This gives Annie a script to follow which is important because sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when someone is teasing you and the brain gets so flooded with distressed emotion that everything comes out wrong. It also puts a structure in place for what to do when teasing escalates and when it is time to seek assistance from an authority figure.
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@myspeechtherapy – I’m off to have
a look at your blog 🙂 Always keen to find new resources to help my
girls out.
I agree it was helpful to know other children bullied
and teased to build their own self esteem but I can see how children on
the spectrum might not find that helpful.
Thank you for sharing this! Teasing is a problem I believe most children will encounter at some point or another. I remember as a child, I was told that teasing was due to a lack of self esteem and that the teaser or bully needed to make others feel bad in order to feel good about themselves. That notion actually made me feel better. Unfortunately, children with autism take things much more to the heart than others. So these five steps are a wonderful way to encourage them to socialize without feeling pressured by bullies or teasers. I write blogs on http://www.MySpeechTherapyCenter.com and I am going to share this with our community!
@ashleyannaka@xanga – I could have used it as a child also. I’m glad my children have it at least 🙂
Wish I would have had this as a kid…I was teased all the time…I’m neurotypical, but had no clue what to say/do about it…I just ignored it – never did stop – then I moved away…haha