a little bit antsy (part one)

ants are unpredictable. erratic. capricious. and just a bit iffy. you never know when they are going to show up. how long they will stay. and. what their motive is.

well. ok. we do know what their motive is. food.

so. we had a swarm of flying termites crash land on and in our house over the last few days. they were coming in through cracks. windows. doors. and. the vents in the ceiling. it can be quite a disconcerting experience. especially if you are 5. and. you happen to be having a private moment in the toilet. when. a swarm of flying ants accost you through the ceiling vent. lets just say that the ant carcasses on the toilet floor probably died of fright. and. bleeding internally from the ears.

let me inform you. telling a screaming 5 year old that termites only eat houses is apparently not reassuring.

tonight. we had another ant incident. my anti-ant 5 yr old informed me that he had a trail of ants right next to his bed on the wall. he refused to go to bed until said ants were exterminated. i came in to take a look. there. on the wall. was a trail of ants coming in through the window. and. eating something stuck to the wall. i look at my son. he is shaking. an understandable response after the toilet episode a day before. i look back at the wall. and then i realize what they are doing there.

hmmmm. apparently ants aren’t too picky when it comes to food.

i then explain to my 5 yr old. perhaps it isn’t a good idea to wipe your boogers on the wall. it appears the ants think it is a dinner invitation (evidently – this is the most reasonable explanation for a 5 yr old to stop wiping boogers on walls).

oh – he says. hmmm – i say.

i suppose ants do have their uses…..