QOTD: How would you deal with this?
I have Asperger’s and yesterday my cousin and I got into a huge fight. Well she was saying some hateful things about me having autism…such as “Well ur b****iness is the autism coming out of you” and offensive stuff like that and now shes going around telling everybody that I have it when it is no one’s business and it most certainly ain’t any of hers and now every time she gets mad at me..she uses that against me.
Have any of you been in a situation like this? And if so, how did you deal with it?
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@Eldheler@xanga – My sympathies for your loss.
It feels like you think I’m stupid or consider me stupid because you’re sounding condesending to me. I grew up with people doing that to me and assuming I was stupid. But whatever, I’m over it.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – Where on earth do I call you stupid? I don’t even know you HAVE autism, I can assume you or a loved one does since you are on this site but please try to find something I said that says I think you’re dumb because your autistic. I don’t think you’re stupid, you just said something insensitive without realizing it which made you seem ignorant (BTW ignorant does not mean stupid).
Ok believe that, I just find it hard to think of a personality trait that kills 20% of the people who have it including my ex boyfriend- it ate his personality and him alive.
@DepressedSkinnyMissS@xanga – i understand how you feel. It’s not always easy having asperger’s either..even thought its high-functioning autism and i can function just as well as normal people do..i don’t like to think thatI have it so often time I will just deny that I have it or pretend it’s not even there.
@emileerene76@xanga – Yeah, I take pride in being bipolar, but still sometimes it just plain hurts to be bipolar…my mind feels like it is going to expload, a wave of the fear of death then passes , sickness in my stomach rolls by, a sense of telling myself it will be ok, instant need for fatique graditfied, then an amazing idea, followed by an imagined possibility of a situation at bay, then a reminder that I am just imagining, then the knowledge of my existance begins to bother me…and then and then and then…..and all on volume 10. Bipolars minds are great, but it hurts sometimes. The voices never go away. Thank you for your enthusiasium about our personalities…we do try to be entertaining and manage because it is in our nature to be unique.
@Eldheler@xanga – You’re the one who’s confused, sweetheart. . I totally get what you’re saying. But I’m gonna stand by what I feel. I understand what bipolar disorder is. I grew up with a bipolar mother. Sorry that you feel the need to make me think differently. I may be autistic hun, but I’m not dumb.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – *sigh*
Forget it, I don’t think you are understanding my point. Sounding like you are belittling something that serious and misunderstood can be very offensive, and if your fine with thats fine. I just thought you should know and maybe reconsider- if you like coming off as insensitive to some that’s not my problem (well it is sortof, its a bit detrimental to my work).
@Eldheler@xanga – Yeah I think it’s a personality trait, but not only a personality trait. A disorder as well. And I think it’s harmless to think that.
I never tried to sway your mind, I was just weighing in with what I think. You sounded like you were trying to sway my mind. You have your beliefs and I have mine. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how I present myself. I can be outspoken at times and it might not make sense to you but it makes sense to me. And that’s all that matters, is that it makes sense to me.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – I just want to make sure I am getting this, you think it is harmless to believe that bipolar disorder is nothing but a personality trait? (I’m not trying to be standoffish, I am just curious)
I was offended, and I spoke up just like you would have. Don’t think you can’t sway someones mind, obviously you can’t always but it’s never a bad idea to try to show people when they are disrespectful and maybe should reconsider how they present themselves.
@Eldheler@xanga – When it comes to the whole aspergers/autism thing, I let people believe what they want. If I’m offended I’ll speak up but I can’t sway people to think differently. I say what I have to say and move on.
But I don’t think I said ANYTHING disrespectful, therefore have nothing to regret or apologize for. I don’t know how you interpreted what I said because I’m not you.
And by the way, I understand what yer saying. I’m not borderline retarded or anything, I get what you’re saying. And in return, I’m saying that what I said was harmless. Sorry you and whoever else can’t see that but in my mind, it was harmless and it makes perfect sense to think that way.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – Well then I am saying it.
Agreeing with the posters idea that bipolarism isn’t a disease but is in fact a personality trait IS disrespectful, and if you look above you see someone with bipolar disorder who agrees with me. I’m am hoping that that was not what you meant up there, but it’s how it sounded.
I don’t think they need pity, they need to be understood. Obviously I can never truly understand what it feels to be bipolar because I am not bipolar, but I do know that it is hurtful when someone brushes off a serious disease just because it’s not understood. You have to understand that I have dedicated my life, and money for education in this area and I just really annoyed when people don’t take the people I am trying to help seriously. You may understand, I don’t really know you so I can’t entirely judge, you aren’t really making it seem like you understand (though, unfortunately you are far better off the most Americans) but thats most likely the setting of a really impersonal computer. I am not saying you have to help these people, or even care that much but realize you can cause alot of harm with words- even if they are misunderstood.
Sorry if I misunderstood you, but realize alot of people may have read that and said nothing, they may have even been hurt by it. I know it isn’t intentional, or a complete mistake I just don’t like the idea of these prejudices being perpetuated, just like there are probably prejudices being perpetuated about aspergers and autism that you do not enjoy.
@Eldheler@xanga – What makes you think I don’t treat them seriously enough? Granted, I don’t have hordes of people around me with these kinds of illnesses, but the few I’ve encountered, I didn’t laugh in their faces or make light of what they had. I understood what they had and accepted it and moved on. Sorry I can’t spend all my time deep thinking everything.
I don’t think I’m naive to treat it like a personality trait. You sound like you want me to sit down and truly pity these people but pity is probably not what they need. I don’t think anything I said was disrespectful. But that’s my opinion and I don’t like how you desperately want me to agree with you… You have your opinion and I have mine.
I don’t take lightly the illnesses of the mind but I’m not going to concentrate them to death. That’s just how I am, I have nothing to be apologetic for, nothing to realize, I treat people how I want to be treated and so far that has worked out fine with me, and if people had a problem with how I see them and address them then I’m sure something would have been said. I would have welcomed it.
@DepressedSkinnyMissS@xanga – I can’t stand the stigmatism mental illness is unjustly given. All the best to you, truly.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – I’m just saying you should be more sensitive to the fact that many people who suffer from those diseases DO suffer. For you to assume it’s some sort of personality trait is really naive, it’s not a personality trait it is a horribly debilitating disease that affects them and everyone around them, I’m glad it hasn’t affected you adversely but to brush it off like that is incredibly disrespectful and I thought you should realize that.
Mental disabilities and diseases are stigmatized enough, and people don’t take them seriously, attitude like this are not helpful. Imagine you already feel awful and people cannot seem to take your disease seriously, it just makes the situation a million times worse.
@Eldheler@xanga – I hardly think I’m inexperienced. Not sure why yer trying to start some kind of a fight with me. Good for you, you work in the psychology field, makes you an expert in all realms of the mind. You speak for some, you don’t speak for all.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – You seem to think that it just makes someone different then ‘normal’ people, did you know your friend before she might have had bipolar disorder? Most people do not develop bipolar disorder until they get older, its not something you are born with like autism. Many believe its a series of genetic anomalies coupled with circumstance that cause it to happen. It destroys people, their families, their friends and their relationships. Half of the people diagnosed with bipolar disorder try to kill themselves at least once, and 1 out of 5 succeed.
I’m glad your friend seems to be doing fine (key word SEEMS, alot of people who are bipolar do anything they can to hide it) but most people with this disease are not fine. It is not a personality trait, these people don’t want their moods and emotions flying around without being able to control it, they hate being sick.
I don’t think you are dumb, just inexperienced. I work in the psychology field as well as having many painful personal experiences from which to draw from- trust me it is not fine.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – I agree
@emileerene76@xanga – Awww that really sucks, but it is better than letting them suffer.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – I’m sorry…German Shephards are amazing dogs. I hate putting dogs down…but its better then seeing them suffer. One of my golden retrievers is old and he might not make it much longer…its sad
@emileerene76@xanga – Awww, we had to put our german shephard down. He was so sick, just suddenly sick. It was so sad, I cried so hard.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – that’s so sad..and i miss all my pets that have died. I had a rottweiler that we had to have put down because he was aggressive to other animals and i miss him so much
@emileerene76@xanga – That’s so sad. My moms cat, which we’ve had since we were kids, passed away a few months ago. It was so sad, it look like she suffered a stroke or something because she tried to walk but half her body would drag. She was so old, about sixteen or seventeen I think. I miss her so much.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – aww I love animals too..my dogs are always there for me when no one else is and i also want to live on a farm since im kind of a farm/country girl!!! Animals are my life!! And I hope you find a new cat too!! I had an 18 year old cat and we had to put her down just recently because she had cancer
@emileerene76@xanga – Awww That is so cool! I fucking LOVE animals! I would love to live on a farm someday…
I also have two birds, cockatiels and one of them can talk. The other just squeaks. And I used to have a cat but my brother was an idiot and left the door open and my cat ran away. I miss him so much, that cat was like therapy to me. So I’m slowly getting over the loss of my kitty and I hope to find another one soon.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – i love dogs..i have a saint bernard and a black lab at my dads house and 2 golden retrievers at my moms
@emileerene76@xanga – I have a basset hound. He’s my fat baby lolz
@LibranPoetess@xanga – aww…thats funny..what kind of dog do you have?
@emileerene76@xanga – If I have my dog sleep on my bed with me, it’s an all out war! He thrashes about as much as I do!
@LibranPoetess@xanga – that could be it too…i think i do it just because i like to hog the bed and i dont want anyone to invade my space lol
@emileerene76@xanga – I always thought that the reason I was thrashing like that was because I was having some kind of weird dream, maybe I was fighting or trying to run away or something…
@LibranPoetess@xanga – maybe its because we cant get comfortable while we’re sleeping or maybe we are just born to be bedhogs lol
@emileerene76@xanga – I wonder why we thrash so much….
@LibranPoetess@xanga – im the same exact way..im a kicker and i move a lot whn i sleep..half the time i wake up with no blankets on me because they are scattered on the floor lol
@emileerene76@xanga – I have a lot of my childhood stuffed animals, I sleep with them on my bed. But I’m such a thrasher in bed, they end up half way across the room lol
@LibranPoetess@xanga – there are stuff that I have a hard time parting with too such as my blanket which still sits on my bed with me to this very day 😀
@emileerene76@xanga – I used to have a pillow that I had a hard time parting with. Them one day, it was gone. I know my parents still have it somewhere.
@DepressedSkinnyMissS@xanga – you know….there is nothing wrong with bipolar. its who you are and I know lots of people with bipolar and they do struggle with some issues as do I and it shouldn’t matter if you are bipolar or autistic, we are all the same in terms of, we bleed like “normal” people do and we love the same way they do..so I really don’t think bipolar is a bad thing!! And I admire bipolar people for some of the personality characteristics…like speaking their mind. I had a friend who is bipolar and wasn’t afraid to tell anyone off and I loved that about her!!!
@LibranPoetess@xanga – heck yes!! Hell I still keep a blanket that I’ve had since I was a baby!! We are special in our own way and should be proud of it and not let people tell us whats acceptable in todays society and what isn’t
@Eldheler@xanga – Yeah I was hardly saying that, I was referring to autism. But I have known people with both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and they seemed fine to me. I’m not stupid ya know, I know that what is presented in front of me and what is kept behind closed doors is different. Maybe it is a personality type, who knows, I don’t judge, I prefer to accept a person for who they are and not make a big fuss about their disabilities or disorders.
@Eldheler@xanga – Thank you. I am bipolar and suffer greatly at times. I appreciated your comment. I do also think the author of this blog is high functioning enough and should celebrate her gift. I see high functioning autism differently than bipolar and schizophrenia. They still have there challenges, but their intellegence level IS such a gift. Thanks for the share =)
Consider yourself out of the closet and take pride in who you are. Remember your Autism doesn’t define you either. You are so many other things. It is one aspect of yourself. Celebrate because you are now seen in the light of day. Those who judge you aren’t worth your time. Now you can talk about your “disorder” (gift) and share your experiences as an autistic person with those who are interested. Now that’s cool.
@LibranPoetess@xanga, @emileerene76@xanga – – I would hardly say people with schizophrenia are ‘just fine’ or a ‘different personality type’. Have you ever met anyone with a serious metal illness such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia? It is not fine.
It’s great that so many with autism do just fine in the world, but remember some don’t, some can’t even speak. It’s great that you seem to have a pretty decent run in life, but don’t say that being bipolar is just different, it’s dangerous and most dangerous to the people who suffer from it.Oftentimes they spend most of their life in jail, lucky ones have family who will take care of them but still suffer dramatically and unfortunately many die at their own hands.
I wouldn’t put those other diseases along with autism, they are very different.
p.s. really don’t worry what others say/think about you. You can’t spend your whole life being someone else so others will like you. Be respectful, but don’t bend over backwards to make others happy that is no way to live
oh, and I see you are from Vermont, I love Vermont so beautiful…
@emileerene76@xanga – And so what if I have a massive collection of rubber duckies and stuffed piggies and I can quote most of the movies I have in my collection word for word. It’s part of my charm
i hope things get better.
Keep taking the high road, if your she wants to be cruel keep your head high and ignore it because eventually she will stop, and if she cares about you she will feel sorry for the way she treated you. Getting you angry and upset is probably precisely what she wants.
But… forgiveness is the most glorious revenge.
@LibranPoetess@xanga -Definitely!! and we know a lot more stuff then those trash-talking people will ever be!! That makes us even cooler!! And we’re better then they are cause we are exactly like them!!!! 😀
Definitely!! and we know a lot more stuff then those trash-talking people will ever be!! That makes us even cooler!! And we’re better then they are cause we are exactly like them!!!! 😀
@emileerene76@xanga – Indeed!!! …But we are way cool
@babykittytara@xanga – thats the best way to do it. and i’ve been doing just that and its killing her but she still don’t understand that words hurt and that she cant go around saying that kind of stuff and expect to get away with it cause it just isn’t going to happen..the less i talk to her the sorrier she becomes. People like that need a dose of their own medicine
I’d say don’t talk to them anymore. If they’re going to do things like that to you because they’re upset, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Cut them out of it, and teach them a lesson. They should respect you enough not to go around saying things like that, and obviously they don’t. You don’t deserve that and shouldn’t have to deal with it.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – basically that’s all it is. Some people are bipolar, some people are shizophrenic and some are autistic. It doesnt mean anythings wrong with them…its just how they are.
I don’t know how I would handle this; but I do know that I am glad I have read so much about many exceptional people and theri childhood. I rather think many of them would have some label. maybe asbergers. Einstein could never tie his shoes nor make change. Edison was kicked out of school for being irrational. many many people did not “fit” And I say, Thanks to God!
sorry you go through this. I am glad to see the post, and the support you get. I hope you can wear this around your shoulders like a rainbow. There are many who DO understand heart. She is a very ignorant person, and i feel sorry for such. all my best
@emileerene76@xanga – EXACTLY!!!!
I always thought of it as a personality type. Some people are introverts, some people are extroverts, some people are autistic. It’s just how I am…
@LibranPoetess@xanga – it will hurt especially coming from your own family..but let me tell you one thing i don’t really know you but one things for sure:YOU ARE NOT A RETARD!!! You are not even close!! In fact..I don’t even consider our disorder a disorder. I consider it a gift seems how people like us usually have a better intelligence level.
@emileerene76@xanga – Yeah, it’s true. I’ve always been called a retard by my brother, and worse but he’s a druggy and I have a job so I think I’m doing better than him and should know better than to listen to what he says. I still listen and it still hurts, probably because he’s family.
@LibranPoetess@xanga – well it bothers me when they say those words but im getting better at just ignoring whatever they say and just blow it off my shoulder…in fact usually i run my mouth back..but its not always a good idea cuz that just makes what they say worse..and sometimes, i too have a hard time making my thoughts come out right..but its no biggies…us people who have this disorder are probably a lot more intelligent then those people who try to degrade us!!
I get in fights all the time with my brother. My problem is I have a hard time arguing with people, I can’t make the thoughts come out right and I end up crying and then my brother thinks I’m weak and antagonizes me for crying. I have a hard time ending the argument and usually result to harming myself in frustration. I don’t argue well with anyone, I don’t really know how to. I try to just ignore what he says because he’s a drug addict and instigates fights out of boredom and cruelty, cuz he knows I’m not a good arguer.
Or you could cease to care about what they say. So what if the world knows, so what if they judge. You will know who you can trust and not trust when all the bad is out in the open. That is of course if you have any bad to be out, and what is baadness but a point of view?
I have dealt with that, on numerous occasions. When it’s family it’s harder to deal with because they are in your life whether you want them there or not. However, I just refuse to talk to/about that person again. If it only happens once, or we talk it out, that’s one thing. But if I told him or her it bothers me and they continue to do it, I ignore it and them. Once they don’t get the rise out of you that they’d hope to, they usually stop. Of course, first they get worse trying to get you to respond, but eventually they give up.